Thursday, March 28, 2013

When bad things happen to good people.



I have this really good friend A. A is much older then me (as a few of my friends are), but that doesn't stop us from seeing movies, shopping, and having lunches together. I met A because when I started at my current job she started 3 days later, so we were the “new” people.

 Within a year our mutual love of cross border shopping was discovered and we planned a weekend trip away. After many rye & cokes, and chocolate martini’s things “that will never be shared at work” were discussed and our friendship became stronger.

When dropping her off from that weekend away in her small town outside the city I was currently living in, I decided I needed to live there too. The neighborhoods were gorgeous and it was within a commute to work. It was the exact place I envisioned raising a family. I drove home and immediately went online to find a house –we bought & moved within 2 months of that trip.

So now A & I live within walking distance to each other – we cross border shop, golf, go for coffee, car pool, and I often ‘cat sit’ while she and her husband travel.

About 3 weeks ago I received a text from A saying she was in having a mammogram before heading out on vacation for a week and how she hated waiting. The next text came in saying it wasn't good news and she was being sent for an ultrasound, and then another text sending her for a biopsy – all in one afternoon.

A has been diagnosed with stage 3 invasive breast cancer. In the 2 weeks since the initial mammogram she has had an MRI, a more invasive biopsy, and is scheduled for a PET scan and a CT scan. She meets with her surgeon next week to decide their approach. Her brain and liver need to be check for cancer as they have already found small spots on her sternum. All of this in within 2 weeks following the routine mammogram you have once you turn 50.

I am beside myself.

I feel like I don’t know what to do or say. I tend to approach sadness with humor,  and I don’t know if that helps? I've surprised her with flowers and listened when she needed to vent, and provided all the benefit info (I work in HR) as requested. I've made it a point to ‘check in’ with her more regularly and have kept a ‘You got this' approach.

What I didn't know last October when I ran the ‘run for the cure’ was that I was running for A. Ironically she was one of my biggest sponsors. This year the run/walk is on October 6th. I have told A that she needs to fight this battle and be in good walking condition for that day. I will gather the largest team I can and we will walk the 5k together.  

Luckily she is the strongest woman I know, so I have no doubt she can do this. I just hope I am strong enough to support her. I’ll leave my outbursts of crying for when I am in the car alone.

If anyone has any suggestions for anything I could be doing – please message me.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Stabby, stab, stab.

When I sign into the software program I use at work 99% of the time I see these faces:



And I want to off myself. They all qualify for 'O faces gone wrong'. 

And people wonder why I'm so grumpy..... 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

People who need to disappear.


On my way into work this morning a radio DJ was going on about celebrity gossip and it prompted this list of people who I think just need to go away. Like permanently.

1.       Kristen Stewart. While I have never actually seen her act in anything I find her social appearances brutal. We all get that you are miserable 99.8% of your life – why flaunt it around Hollywood? I assume she’d be much happier in a dark basement listening to grunge and ripping apart voo doo dolls of RPatz because his career has a chance of taking off while hers will head straight to the gutter. Do I blame her for cheating on him? No. I couldn't look at that face every day either.

2.       Donald Trump. Do I even need to explain? By this point everyone should be familiar with this idiot. Just because he has (or thinks he has money) and has a big mouth he thinks he can spout off about anyone anywhere and people will actually value his opinion. I’d maybe take him a little more seriously if with all that money he has he bought himself a hair piece that didn't resemble that of a skinned squirrel.Oh, and if he didn't make a complete asshat of himself with the Barack Obama birth certificate ordeal.

3.       Ke$ha. Get some talent and try again, or don’t.

4.       Justin Bieber. I am tired of hearing about all the shit he is causing now that he is of age and acting like the spoiled kid he always has been – minus the booze, as pot was enough up until now. Seriously, Bieber if you are going to do it up and spiral your career into the shitter go out Brittany Spears style as I haven’t seen a good train wreck recently. Also, on your way out do me a favor and grab the two other Canadians that drive me nuts – Avril Lavigne and Celine Dion.

5.       Richard Simmons. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE gay people. Just not this one. They have been advertising some charity event on the radio here for exercise where Richard Simmons will be making an appearance. I’m all for charity, but you would have to pay me large sums of money to be anywhere within earshot of Richard Simmons. Something about his voice and the fact his wardrobe is stuck in the 80’s just annoys the hell out of me. I guarantee that charity would quadruple their donations by offering the highest fundraiser a Richard Simmons throat punch.

There is my current short list. This will change in 5 minutes, if not sooner. 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Fork in the road


I've decided to go in a new direction. A new kind of more of myself kind of direction. One that rants and rambles and forces my opinions on you. I’ll just tell it like it is – for me anyway. I came to the realization that I wasn't “into” my blog anymore because I always felt like I had to filter in case some relative somewhere became offended that I swear. Now, I just don’t care. Don’t read it, problem solved.

I don’t tweet. My posts could all end up being a little less crazy if I’d just tweet out some of these thoughts, but who really needs to know these things?! Oh right, you guys. If I tweeted nothing else in my life would get done ever as I’d have to over share everything. Like the fact that I just shaved enough hair off my body to knit a nice pair of slippers for an Alaskan child. Why Alaska? Only cold place I could think of off the top of my head. I don’t actually own slippers, I’m saving that for old age. I also don't think Alaska is a poor state, so they probably don't need free slippers. See, you needed to know that.

There will be more about T now – because he is crazy. It hasn't been determined which one of us makes the other crazier, but truth is we are our own reality show. Shit happens to us that just doesn't make sense. I won’t tell him I’m logging our craziness or you will see the launch of another blog telling of his side of the craziness. Currently he has no time for that as he’s creating a ‘Phaneuf Sucks’ YouTube channel with clips and audio commentary and all. You know because Phaneuf is currently the cause of why the Leafs are not going win the cup this year.

I’m still a mom who is clueless as to what she is doing all of the time, but am finding humor in it all. You have to or it destroys you! I’m also a daughter, sister, friend, co-worker…..you get the point.

So from now on I’ll share shit with you. In real life, real terms, no holds bars. Run screaming if you want, no offense taken.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

To know or not to know


As some of you may not know (since I haven’t exactly screamed it at the world) T & I decided to expand our reality show family by one last and final member. After having G I always knew he needed a friend and wanted them to be close in age. Also kind of selfishly I wanted this stage of my life over. If I get too far away from the sleepless nights and diapers I will never want to go back.

So the newest member of our team will be arriving in early August. G will be 19 months old. Yes, this means I was pregnant before I actually stepped foot back into work after a year + off for maternity leave. I am pretty 100% sure my boss didn't want to hear I’d be going off on leave again 5 minutes after I walked through the doors. Oh well, in 20 years I’ll have 2 kids close together in age who are hopefully best friends.

So here is my recent dilemma. Do I find out if the newest member is a boy or girl?

This was a simple decision with G. He was our first and I wanted all things gender neutral so I could use them again with a second child. I also thought I’d need the surprise at the end to get me through labor. This time we have everything gender neutral, and there will be no labor (repeat c-section).  I know I will not be the first to hold the baby and will be heavily medicated so I kind of want to know.

T (even when he promised not to) is again being difficult when it comes to naming this child. If a boy this child has a good shot of being nameless as T likes nothing, or what he does like is ridiculous and when anyone hears his suggestions they think he is joking. I am tired of it. A girl would put an end to the never ending debate.

However, a girl scares the crap out of me. I know what to do with boys now. I know how much energy they have and how easy they are to dress and keep entertained. I’m terrified that with a girl I’d go broke in clothing, accessories and girl toys alone. With another boy we already have the clothes and the toys and a big brother here to pick on him.

At a recent mommy outing I witnessed a little girl throw a temper tantrum of epic proportions and she is only a year old. She had something taken away from her and in the middle of a shoe store she went limp, fell forward  face down on the floor, kicking and screaming. Her father told me to just ignore her. She eventually rolled over and started laughing – but still. I’d lose my mind. I don’t think I can handle the drama that comes along with little girls.

So, both T and my mother do not want me to find out as they like guessing and the suspense. However, it is not like I’m having another shower and most people’s reactions have been “are you certifiably nuts?” Would it be absolutely horrible if I found out and told no one? I mean, if it is indeed another boy, I do kind of need to come to terms with forever being outnumbered in my house and the acceptance that I will own nothing nice or breakable for a very long time. But oh,….think of the weekends where I can send the boys out into the woods camping, or to sport events?.....

So I have 11 days to decide to know or not know…….