#42. Take your hobby more seriously than your job

Is there anyone out there that gets up every day extremely happy to go into work?


I am not one of those people so it is extremely easy to focus more on outside hobbies than my job – often thinking about and/or planning outside activities is the only thing that gets me through my work day. Working in human resources I watch the constant struggle between work/life balance, and let me tell you that no job is worth not enjoying your life. No salary should prevent personal happiness. At the end of it all are you going to look back and say “I’m so happy I worked all those hours, and made all that money”? Or are you going to regret not spending more time doing the things you enjoy?

Do your hobbies relive stress? If yes, you definitely need to take them more seriously. Job stress has been linked to obesity, diabetes, and high blood pressure, which can cause liver or kidney disease or a stroke – just to name a few. Also, what stressed out person is really enjoyable to work with, therefore creating a hostile work environment for others?

Do you know that taking your beloved vacations can also stress you out more? I have read several news articles lately that state the aftermath of vacations leave employees sad that they are no longer on vacation, overly aware of how unhappy their current working status is, yet tied to their job to pay off said vacation. The anticipation of an upcoming vacation puts employees in a much greater mood, therefore creating a more enjoyable work environment. So if everyone could constantly be anticipating a vacation…..

Ok. Sorry I went all HR on your asses. It wasn’t deserved. I apologize.

You see blogging lately has become a hobby. Do I take it more seriously than my job? Kind of. My job has become non-challenging and non-rewarding, and as you already know, if I’m not challenged at things in my life, I’m more than likely not interested. I process tasks at warp speeds as it’s my nature and that leaves me with free time. Most people would not complain about this, but I am bored easily. I am stuck wanting a job that ends at 5 and that I don’t have to think about on weekends so that I can enjoy my outside life, but also a job that is challenging. I fill my time reading HR articles on current news and trends, attempting to make processes easier with excel spreadsheets and access databases, and of course blogging. I can honestly say I’ve spent more time blogging this week than doing actual work – so that is taking my hobby more seriously than my job. Also planning and completing the 101 things and blogging about them is far more interesting than my job!

As I would love to be paid to blog daily I do not see this happening without winning the lottery. So I must earn a living. I am very aware of the rut that I am in, and am working towards a solution as part of my current life changes. However, whatever path I take I will be sure to make sure that there is always time for my hobbies – as a person who lives at a stress level above most, stress-relief is very important. As a wise man once said:

The man who doesn't relax and hoot a few hoots voluntarily, now and then, is in great danger of hooting hoots and standing on his head for the edification of the pathologist and trained nurse, a little later on. ~Elbert Hubbard

#79 - Dub the soundtrack from your childhood.

I apologize if this post gets incredibly long, but I am a HUGE music fan, so this is incredibly hard. I have compiled lists, written and re-written this post, and finally have decided I’m just going to ramble. As I have favorite albums, or songs, or artists, that I can categorize etc, etc, but instead I’ll just go with songs that when I hear them they bring me back to a certain time or place. I’m also deeming childhood anything before marriage – however, I still haven’t grown up.


Tracy Chapman’s ‘Fast Car’. When I was a kid my dad had a ’72 Malibu Chevelle SS in mint condition that we would spend hours in the garage tinkering, cleaning, or polishing, and when this song came on the radio my dad knew the lyrics and would sing. My dad doesn’t sing. Then we’d take the car out for a drive and when it came on the radio the volume would be cranked, and the windows would go down, and my hair would fly in the wind.

The Tragically Hip‘s ‘Scared’.The first song I danced to with whom I refer to as my first love, or the first real long lasting relationship in high school. I asked him to dance, and a week later I called him to hang out. Ballsy, I know. The Tragically Hip was his favorite band, and when we were separating (he was older and going 7 hours away for university) he quoted this song in a letter.

Meredith Brooks’ ‘Bitch’. Oh boy, is it bad that I related to this song and most of Alanis Morissette’s ‘Jagged little pill’ album during the influential high school years? This could explain a lot. This song brings me back to the days of parties at Stacey’s where she and I somehow bonded over being bitches. Lovely!

Natalie Imbruglia’s ‘Torn’. I had just gotten my driver’s license and the drive out to the above boyfriend’s house was roughly 20 minutes along a river. This was sad, yet sounded happy and care free and didn’t allow me 20 minutes of being sad about his pending departure. Often when I’m home I’ll still do that drive just for fun as it’s very scenic.

Tegan and Sara’s ‘The First’. This is the song that I played repeatedly in my dorm room very loud, and on my CD disc man while riding public transit once I got to the bigger city. It was upbeat, catchy, and related to my new found independence.

The Counting Crow’s ‘Anna Begins’. Living with Chris I used to play this song repeatedly very loud while singing on my commute to and from work for the entire summer leading up to our end. I think the counting crows were putting my relationship status blatantly in my face, and maybe I knew it.

Sheryl Crow’s ‘I shall believe’. When the above relationship ended, I spent many late nights crying listening to this song. I hear this song and basically my heart stops beating and hits the floor for old time’s sake.

Whitney Houston’s ‘I Wanna Dance’. My best friend would kill me if I didn’t add this song. When my heart was on the floor with no hopes of recovery she and I would hold late night Whitney Houston ‘I wanna dance’ dance parties – she wasn’t always physically present – but on the phone or computer. When I accidentally walked into the wrong apartment one night I had to apologize to my hot-in-a-Tom-Selleck-but-hotter-kind-of-way neighbor A – for walking into his apartment & B – for keeping him up with the random Whitney Houston dance parties.

The Rolling Stones’ ‘Beast of Burden’. I hear this and I am right back to dancing in the middle of the afternoon in my one bedroom apartment in the dead of the summer in my early 20’s. I remember celebrating after receiving a phone call with a job offer a little too loudly to this song – getting my first noise complaint at 4pm on a Tuesday.

Louis Armstong’s ‘Wonderful World’. T had taken me to NY for a surprise second anniversary trip where he told me not to get my hopes up for a proposal, so I told him if that was the case, I wanted nothing romantic to happen that day. We grab seats on the subway heading to Central Park when an older gentleman steps into the car with a portable stereo and proceeds to sing this song. T did propose that day, and we used this song as our first dance at our wedding.

The Progues’ ‘Love You Till The End’. T & I ended our wedding reception with this song while dancing in the middle of all of our friends and family before we boarded the bus back to the cottage for a bonfire and fireworks. It was the perfect song to wrap up an amazing day.

So there you have it. This is by all means not my all-time favorite songs and/or artists and/or albums, but they relate to my life. I do love ALL kinds of music. Maybe after I complete the 101 things, I’ll explore a little more into music with the blog. For now, I’ve queued these all up on YouTube so I think I’ll sit and reminisce.

#41. Own Your Mistakes

Let me state I am not perfect. Nobody is perfect. As much as I am a perfectionist and equally stubborn, I am more than willing to own up to my fuck ups, once justified that they are indeed fuck ups – or learning experiences for those of you who are optimists.


Note. This is completely different than admitting I am wrong to T – regarding anything.

I have one gigantic life-altering, heart breaking, world shattering epic fuck up. His name was Chris. As much as I’d like to place blame for the entire ordeal on him, I can’t. I blame one thing, and one thing only – my heart. For those of you thinking listening to your heart is the way to go – you are all very, very wrong, and I’ll tell you why.

It’s my first year away from my very small home town and am attending university for psychology in a much larger city. I’m coming off a string of relationships that lasted a month and a half each (yes, I got bored precisely at the same point in every relationship). Anyway, a new place, new friends, and new guys to meet. I stay single the entire first semester (go me!), and end up kind of dating a guy I will refer to as ‘Dan the Italian Stallion.’ And by ‘kind-of’, I mean it was my attempt at a one night stand that went horribly wrong. Ok. I’ll tell you the story – as this is also a mistake.

It is now December and I’ve just finished writing my final exam before Christmas holidays. My father will be picking me up FIRST thing in the morning. It takes me approximately 9 minutes to get from the exam room to my residence room and put a beer in my hand. I have all intentions of getting ready for the bar, hopping in a cab and heading downtown to meet friends. This doesn’t happen. I have a few too many beers, stop in across the hall at a gathering of people where the “how you do’ in” line actually works on me. First mistake. Let’s just say after hours of talking, etc, etc, I wake up in the morning to discover my dad should be there already to get me. Second mistake – DTIS (Dan the Italian stallion) is still in my bed. I jump up run to the bathroom to discover mistake #3 – a hickey. I glance out the window to see my dad’s car pulling into the parking lot. Seriously, I wake DTIS up – throw his clothes at him and kick him out – he passes my dad in the hall!!! I quickly repack turtlenecks and head home for the holidays happy that the entire experience is behind me. WRONG.

A month later after school resumes my phone rings. It’s DTIS, he wants to cook me dinner. When I gave him the boot I had missed giving him his jacket so he had returned after I had left and someone gave him my #. We dated briefly, and when we split the girls decided a night out with the university’s drinking team was a good idea. NOT a good idea.

We get to the bar, and I am asked “Out of everyone in here who do you want to meet tonight?”, and I pick Chris out. Another bar and an entire pitcher drank by me; I walk up and tell him that he’s the only one I wanted to meet. Hook.Line.Sinker. We become inseparable. One problem – he’s in his last year and is moving back to his hometown – a rather large city, at the end of the semester. He’s everything I’ve imagined – educated, cute, humorous, thoughtful, and athletic – he had it all. My heart told me not to let him go. What can your heart know at age 20? Seriously.

So what do I decide to do? Follow him. I tell myself I don’t really want to be a psychologist; I’d prefer to be in business management as its fewer years in school and more years working. I convince myself that he is the one for me. The one I should marry. So I up and move after maybe 7 months of dating. I give up my friends, psychology, and my apartment – everything I was sure of. We attempt to live together while he works, and I go to school. He misses 'university life', I miss my life, we argue. You know how this ends –a year later I’m a puddle on the floor wondering what the hell happened? I remain a puddle while moving back to where I started attempting to recover. Attempting that took months of crying, and years of emotional walls that wouldn’t let anyone else in.

Did I learn from this mistake? Sure. Don’t listen to your heart; it fucks with your life.

#67 – Kick one Habit

Long time – no talk. Want to know why? I procrastinate.


I get in these funks that you can’t see coming and can’t predict when they’ll end, where my world comes to a screeching halt. Nothing is right in the world, nor will it ever be – so whatever attempt to fix it is just wasting your time during this period. I deem nothing worth doing, and it takes everything in my being to just be. I mope, I pout, I bitch, I scream, I cry.

And absolutely nothing gets done.

What’s that you wanted dinner? The dinner that I planned two weeks in advance and have all the groceries in the fridge ready to be used? Oh well, that’s nice. Not going to happen, I’ll get to that later – along with laundry, gardening, bill paying, and having adult conversations. Poor T, never knows when it’s going to hit and then looks at me as if I have a sign that reads BACK.AWAY.SLOWLY. flashing neon pink on my forehead. It’s kind of like a domestic strike – some women dream of this.

This latest funk I believe stemmed from the ‘I have no direction’ statement a few entries back. Could someone have just piped up and told me to do something about it? Yes, and they tried, but I was procrastinating about change so nothing would have happened until this morning.

This morning I had to bring some extra clothing with me to work as I’m heading to a concert straight from work and don’t think heels at an outdoor venue is the best option. So I grab a bag from the closet, but not just any bag, a Lululemon bag. I get to work, I get bored, and I start looking around and voila! Words of inspiration, and oh they didn’t tickle.

The first being ‘Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself'. Really? This is not good. As stated above nothing is right, nor will it ever be.

Others include ‘Stress is related to 99% of all illnesses, ‘Breathe deeply & appreciate the moment! Living in the moment could be the meaning of life’, ‘The world is changing at such a rapid rate that waiting to implement changes will leave you two steps behind. Do it now! Do it now. Do it now!’

So, time for some change, and I’m not just going to think about change. I’m going to make some decisions, and make life a little more challenging and rewarding. Screw this holding pattern that is causing me major freak outs and possibly health issues. Procrastination is so over.

I’ve had this song on repeat all day as its motivating and seems like an appropriate theme song for these changes, and it helps that I’ll be seeing the band in roughly 2 hours.

In the 7 hours since I glanced at the bag I’ve decided I need a career change, to participate in the ‘run for the cure’, need to take up Yoga, and blog a whole hell of a lot more.

Anyone else out there up for some changes? I believe in strength in numbers!

#84. Forgive Your Parents

Doesn’t forgiving your parents usually entail a few months and a few hundred dollars paid to a shrink? I don’t think I need to partake in such an extremity as I find it difficult to find something to forgive them for.

Let me tell you about the people who created such a unique spawn, and maybe you’ll understand me a little more?

My father is the middle child of a family of 3 boys. He grew up on a farm, is a mechanic by trade (and hobby), works for Shell (the refinery), and loves to watch hockey and play golf. He is the strong, silent type – we often only hear my dad’s opinions through my mother. However, if you get him on the phone when no one is around you can’t get him to stop talking. He is very picky and opinionated. For instance he thinks that cars should not be any shade of pink, purple, or teal, and should not have bumper stickers and nothing should be hanging from the rear-view mirror. If a friend’s car had any of those features it could not be parked in the driveway. He also believes any flat surface should not be cluttered, and will often remove objects and put them places where no one would think of looking for them, just to get them off the counter. This drives my mother insane.

He loves to teach me everything he knows. I spent hours in the garage as a kid learning about greasing pistons, and replacing fan belts and wheel bearings. Now he teaches me about lawn maintenance and all the tools required. To receive an e-mail from him is priceless. He types with one finger – so to get an e-mail that is more than two sentences and has capitals and periods – you know it took him a lot of time to compose.

Where to start with my mother? She is the oldest of 5 girls, is educated as an ECE teacher, but is a librarian. Which I find unbelievable that she can be quiet for long periods of time as her personality and laugh are vibrant. She hates all things electronic as they continually get more difficult to operate. She doesn’t sit still (THIS is where I get it from); she has travelled to Haiti numerous times to work with orphans, and has an abundance of affection that she gives out freely. This could be why I have a big heart but don’t like being touched – because I was smothered as a child!

My mother & I’s relationship has its moments. I was born on her birthday making us both Gemini’s – so on any given day our multiple personalities conflict. Our opinions on various things differ and we are both very passionate arguers. This would not seem like a good relationship for most people, but for me, I love it. She challenges me, makes me think, and supports me even if our views are different. As much as we are different, and don’t resemble each other at all, we have identical facial expressions and hand gestures. I also get my ‘ugly cry’ from my mother. There is a picture floating around of the two of us on my wedding day partaking in an ‘ugly cry’ - but I will not post that so that we can both keep our pride. She will also kill me if I post a picture of her.

So what could I forgive them for?

My father does not show affection. Not once have I heard ‘I love you’ from him – but I’m perfectly ok with that because I inherited that trait, and you rarely hear it from me. He shows everyone he loves them without words. I remember childhood Christmas’ where there would be surprise family gifts under the tree that even my mother didn’t know about. You know the wedding ugly cry with my mother mentioned above – well it was because my dad replaced all my fake wedding jewellery with real jewellery without letting either of us know. When T was away on business my dad drove an hour and a half to my house to cut my grass for me. So I forgive him for not showing affection, I prefer it that way.

My mother has always set the bar high. “Hey Mom, I got an A on a project” was answered with “Good, but so-and-so got an A+”, or “Mom, I’ve lost 40lbs”, and get a “Good, but so-and-so who’s going through a divorce right now lost 65!” There is always a ‘but’. This also isn’t such a bad thing. It makes me want to succeed just to show her I can which makes me a better person. I remember telling my mother shortly after getting my business management diploma that I was going to apply for a position to manage a golf course. I had worked in the golf industry for my summers throughout college as everything from beer cart girl to grounds crew so I felt I was qualified. I don’t remember her exact words, but I know she was doubtful, and it only made me put that much more into the cover letter and interview eventually getting the job. I have always felt that she thinks I can do more and be more. She came with my dad the day he came to cut my grass. I had just gotten home from work and was tidying the garage when they got there so I offered to let her into the air conditioning. Somewhere between unlocking the door and walking to the kitchen she started crying and said “My baby girl is all grown up and she’s so beautiful, you are so beautiful”. I had never heard that from her and it was everything I could do not to cry.

Now, I’m not going to get all sappy because that’s not how I roll. But honestly, my parents are awesome, and I wouldn’t want them to be any different. I am who I am because of them, and I appreciate what they’ve done for me. I need not forgive them for anything.

#83. Carry something to read, a notebook, and a pen at all times

I physically can’t do this. I used to lug purses around that were so heavy they caused hundreds of dollars’ worth of chiropractic bills to rack up. The purses were filled with my wallet, a small drug store, pens, candies, a nail file, lists, sunglasses, a camera, lip balms, my cell phone, keys, business cards, hair ties, gum, floss, my passport, cheque book, and sometimes snacks, books, etc. I was a one stop shop for everything, as most women are. So adding a notebook and pen to mix wouldn’t have made a difference. But that was before my love affair with designer purses began.

Most women have shoe addictions, which I completely understand. I wish at this point I could go back to a shoe addiction as it was the much cheaper addiction. But that would make my life too easy now wouldn’t it? With shoes you find a pair you like, check if they have your size, justify the price, and done. With designer purses, and other things, size matters. The bigger the purse the more $$ - so I'd rather go numerous smaller designer purses rather than one large. Therefore, with limited space only so much fits in, and a book or notebook doesn’t make the list.

Here is my newest love:

But wait, even if I did have a bigger purse my BlackBerry has made carrying a notbook and a book redundant. I’m still relatively new to the blackberry phenomenon, but I can no longer live without this electronic device. My BlackBerry does everything. It has a memo pad feature that keeps numerous lists and notes for me, all alphabetically organized. It has a calendar that synchs with both my Google calendar and my Facebook activities, and anything else I add in manually, and it alerts me with reminders of when things are going down.

If I wanted or needed to read something I can web browse or or download a news app, or catch up on my e-mails. Speaking of e-mails it brings e-mails from all my different accounts into one and flashes at me when there is a new e-mail waiting – it’s brilliant, and so time saving. It takes pictures, which eliminates the need to carry a camera with me. Yesterday I had to purchase an oil filter for my car. I can never remember the code, and hate asking for help for the same thing more than once, so in a pinch for time, before I handed the oil filter to my mechanic I snapped a picture of it so I could add the code to my memo pad for future reference. It also takes pictures when I’m drunk at the bar and the bathroom stall is telling me I’m beautiful:

Now, if it could only physically write, dispense drugs, file my nails, unlock doors, and get me across the border I wouldn’t need anything more in my purse other than my wallet and sunglasses. Wow, I sound like an advertisement for BlackBerry – does anyone else feel the same way about theirs?

#23 – Google Yourself

Google me. You can’t. I don’t exist. I myself am more of a bing girl – so I ‘binged’ me. Nothing there either. Well if you use my maiden name you can find out where I went to elementary and secondary school and during what years – but nothing else.


There’s a Facebook link with my name, and just when I think ‘crap they got me’. Nope. I locked down those privacy settings – when you work in HR for a large company it is key that no one find you. So I got this person instead – SO not me. Not even me in 40 years.

There’s a blogger with the same maiden name as myself– that’s kind of exciting as we are a rare few – let’s see how much we have in common?

5 kids and loves to scrapbook to stay sane. Absolutely zero in common. Partaking in either one of those ‘hobbies’ would make me take a long walk off a short cliff.


At the same time I look at not being found and question what I’ve accomplished in life if nothing I’ve done is internet worthy?


I’ve recently read 'Eat Pray Love' - by Elizabeth Gilbert. Don’t do this if you don’t want to question everything about everything and anything in your life. In the book she hits her 30’s and has lined her life up with a husband, home, and is thinking children when she decides that it is not the life that makes her happy and decides that traveling to Italy to Eat, India to Pray, and Indonesia to love over the period of a year will help her find herself.

I feel like I’m constantly looking for something, but can’t quite put my finger on what it is? and time is just passing by and I’m not where I think I thought I would be? Does that make any sense?

So then I think OK time to make changes, time to take those steps forward – but towards what? I clearly have no direction. Yes, no direction and pushing age 30 – small freak out. I wake up and think ‘today is the day I’m going to figure out what I’m going to do with my life’, and it never happens. When I do sit for long periods of time thinking these things I get depressed as I don’t have the time or the funds to do most of them. If I had my way I’d own a golf course, and either donate to, or volunteer at, an animal rescue, all while training to climb a mountain or whatever I set my sights on that year. If there is one thing I’ve learned about myself it is that once I’ve accomplished something, I look for what’s next? What’s bigger and better? It’s really an exhausting characteristic.

You people should really just get some lawn chairs and popcorn and sit on my front lawn and watch this shit show go down – it’s entertaining for everyone but me.

Ok now that I’m sounding all sad and lost, and you’re all thinking I’m going to pick up disappear. I can’t – I don’t have a book deal that would back it. However, if I win the lottery Italy, Indonesia, and Iceland here I come. Yes, Iceland.

Whatever it is I do, I’m going to make damn sure it’s internet worthy.

Oh, and if I haven’t convinced you to run out and read the book (absolutely do not do this) – you can wait a few weeks and go see the movie.