#49. Invest in earplugs

Ever try to fall asleep beside something that sounds like:

That not only sucks in all your fresh clean air, but then heats it up, gives it an odour only a mother could love and then blows it right back into your face?

That horrific noise that if you don’t fall asleep immediately after your head hits the pillow, or at least are half asleep before T decides to go to bed you don’t stand a chance.

I have tried gently rubbing his arm, rubbing his leg with sometimes prickly girl legs, and blowing back in his face, nothing works. Sure he’ll switch positions, but the man snores in any and every position! He sometimes will wake himself up he’s so loud! T used to only snore on weekends after a few drinks and it was fine as we were sleeping in the next morning, but not now.

Sleep is precious, if I don’t get sleep I grow a tail and horns and my lack of patience with moron human beings simmers to non-existent. I refer to my dealing with grown men as ‘hand holding’ and ‘babysitting’, and threaten to take employees ‘out back’. Yes, I live right on up to the stereotype of the horrible HR department staffer whose answer is always ‘No’. On days where I don’t get any sleep they don’t even get a ‘no’, they just get me laughing in their face. I deal with sleep deprivation, and nastiness with humour. Sometimes I’ll throw in the word ‘audit’; sometimes I’ll cite the Canadian labour code because I enjoy feeding misery with more misery. All because T didn’t let me get any sleep.

I can’t blame it ALL on T. I share my half of the bed with Banditt, and he can get going pretty good also. He sounds more like you’re sleeping up close and personal with a winding down chainsaw. Only with him it’s hit and miss and not all night, which is why it’s impossible to get a sound clip or you know I’d share. His snoring I can deal with as it’s at my feet.

I am a person who prior to the endless snore fest would NEVER consider purchasing earplugs as I have to be able to hear any sound or bump in the night so I can be fully prepared to spring into action or crawl under my bed and call 911 (blog post to come). But for my safety and the safety of others I am planning a double attack of not only purchasing earplugs but also breathe right nasal strips for T.

Wish me luck.