For the most part this has worked for me. I’ve fixed my own computer virus, changed a fan belt in my car, built and moved furniture, and paid my own bills always. I loved being independent knowing I could make it on my own and needed no one.
T & I started dating and he travelled a lot so I still had my independence, we moved in together and because I was used to taking care of everything I took care of everything. I remember the first night I handed him a plate of steaks to bbq he had to YouTube how to do it properly – which drove me insane clearly. What man doesn’t know how to bbq? Or clean toilets? Or fold clothes properly?
That’s right – one who dated and then married me.
After purchasing the house I continued on my insanely organized path keeping everything on the straight and narrow and have really only delegated cutting the grass and taking out the big (not gathering the little) garbage, setting the dinner table (if he’s home) and unloading the dishwasher occasionally. That’s it.
I hate to say I crashed & burned, but I kinda did. I got fed up with me clearing clutter and cleaning non-stop and him doing close to zero and started to make a fuss about it. I flat out said “I could use some help”. I swear it fell on deaf ears. So I started boycotting things. If T’s laundry didn’t make it into the basket I didn’t clean them. If his dishes didn’t make it into the dishwasher I didn’t load them -as much as this drove me batshit crazy. He has only partially clued into this scheme and does his own laundry when he runs out of clean underwear.
However, he agreed on having a cleaning service in once a month – which helps me out, and in turn gets me off his case. So you would think with that lessening the workload it would make the other tasks become much more manageable?
Only slightly. Asking him to go to the grocery store last night to help me because I have a sore back was like the world was coming to an end. He did offer to go and do it all by his lonesome, but I knew he doesn’t know enough about brands etc. to know what we usually get or where to find it. Explaining this to him was like talking to a tree and by the end of the entire ordeal I was threatening to pack a pair of cement shoes for him for our trip to the lake this weekend.
So women, those of you in your early twenties who think “I can do it all, be all, and don’t need anyone”. That is perfectly true, but as life throws more at you, you are going to want to delegate some stuff and a man that’s never had to do anything will show great resistance. So even if you don’t want the help ask for it early and get them into a schedule, it will pay off in the long run.
Just one of those "If I knew then what I know now moments".....
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