Until Opportunity knocks

I didn’t return to work. 

I planned for it, had daycare lined up, had ‘back to work’ clothing for myself, backpacks packed ready for the kids, and I didn’t go.  There is something unbelievably crappy about working in HR. Your immediate boss is the HR Manager. When said HR manager finds out you were applying for employment elsewhere (for say a shorter commute and more time with the kids) you don’t have a leg to stand on – she’s already seen your cards.

So here I am – at home. The past two and a half years have prepared me for this, but I was not prepared for this to be full time. We didn’t plan financially for this. So now I learn to strictly budget, and cut coupons, and price match. I ask questions like “Do we really need that?” or “Can I sell this?”

Luckily things career-wise for T have sky rocketed so we will manage. It is just going to be a lot of adjusting. I’m also not set on staying home until G (September 2016) or both kids are in school. I’m sure I will have lost my mind by then. So, for the right opportunity I’ll go back.

Now, that right opportunity. Luckily I am in a position where I can decide when and where I will be happy working. I’ve never had this luxury. In order to survive I have jumped at some pretty horrible jobs. This new job will have to bring in a decent income to cover daycare costs (18K/year) and make it worthwhile to be away from the kids. It is hard to put a price tag on these first years with them.

Just by being ‘home’ for one official week I now have my son potty-trained and I was able to witness my daughters first steps and lap around our house. No amount of money right now would make these moments worth missing.

Does this terrify me? Of course! I pride myself in how independent I have been and am terrified to not be bringing in a salary. So however temporary or long term this becomes that will always be in the back of my head.

So I won’t be chained to a desk to compose amazing blog posts. But I will have chilly fall nights with no yard work to be completed, with little ones sleeping, and T working away on the opposite couch to pen my thoughts. So bare with me, this is going to be one hell of a learning experience.