Ramblings from a bottle of wine

Here is J9 after a bottle of wine. Just a warning. I like to give those. 

I'm turning to the blog as the bff just went to bed. If I was being a responsible human being I would be in bed finishing the second Mindy Kaling book and getting a solid 8 hours of sleep. Clearly, I'll spend the next hour typing whatever, and the next hour after that correcting it - because I am a grammar/spelling natzi, even drunk. 

So here is a random tidbit about me. I always, and I mean ALWAYS see 12:34 on the clock. I started noticing it in first year at University (15 years ago) and it has never stopped. I'm sad 15 years ago was first year. I am sad time has gone by so quickly. It's my persona to be sad for all the things I didn't become, but my thirties have taught me to own whatever has gotten you to where you are now. I am where I never wanted to be, and it is a huge interpersonal struggle. I'm exhausted from asking myself the 'what if's', I'm exhausted from having two children so close together in age. 

I wanted to be a woman in a suit who works on the 34th floor of some sky scraper,  who gets to travel internationally for work, who is emotionally unattached from life. When my 19 year old self pictured my future, she is who I adored. Possibly because emotionally un-attaching yourself from life seemed desirable. Prior to that, you know a singer/actress seemed purely attainable ;)

I don't view my achievements as a mother as self fulfilling. I think I should be climbing the corporate ladder or even just working for 'the man' to bring in my own money. G is absolutely brilliant (however, lately caught up in Mario Bros games), and A I just potty trained at age 2 1/2. I have these two perfect little beings that I am responsible for making into decent human beings. That is a lot of pressure. Try to do that and keep part of you, it is almost impossible. As when you get too far into what childhood images/milestones you have accomplished with them you still feel inadequate to the 'Jones'. Fuck crunchy (yes I'm looking at you child wearing/cloth diapering/organic feeding people) parents. I'm doing things to the best of (and better than) my childhood memories, so it is the best I can do. 

If one more person who doesn't have an actual child of their own thinks they know anything about anything, and decides to share their knowledge on whatever parenting issue they think they have knowledge on, I'm going to punch them in the face. A. You don't know the depth of this love. B. You know shit. There, I put that out there. 

I guess the love for my children shocked me. I was so career driven, that children were just something I could do and get over with. I didn't understand the depth of the commitment to their well-being. I didn't understand how much time and effort I'd put into making sure they have the best childhood possible. I hope to hell they aren't sitting in psychiatrists offices years from now ranting about how their mother ruined their youth. 

There is only so much I can do before I lose my mind. I need to feel valued too. I need to feel like I have a purpose other than just serving two tiny bosses. I need to be out, have adult conversations, break free from the endless make believe worlds, and non stop resistance towards me and the rules I impose on them. 

When I left my career a friend/co-worker told me to go write a book. I wish I had. I wish I could. Believe me I've thought about it a million times, and come up with plots, characters, etc, I just don't have it in me. I've done wood-working and a few sewing projects, but I can barely keep up with this blog. There are not enough hours in the day. I'm sad for that. I feel like I sacrifice myself and my potential and that is selfish - I know. 

The bff (as mentioned above) and I are starting up a side business. Just something we can do when we have spare time. We are going to create a few items and sell them at craft shows this summer. Something we can pick up and put down according to our schedules. Something that doesn't take away from the children, something that gets us out and spending time together. As much as I know it won't bring in the money that working for 'the man' would. I know that I only have 7 months left until G is in school and our life is scheduled around that. I need to make the most of the 'free' time we have. I need to go on adventures, and continue to teach him how to read and write, and ride a two wheel scooter or bike. 

On my deathbed I will not be sad that I took this time out to spend getting to know, and forming lifelong relationships with my children. These are priceless days. I just wish who I have been, my persona, would be happy to take the back seat for awhile. I just want to feel genuinely happy. I want to look back on these years as the best years, and not the years I fought a battle with myself. 

Being a woman, a mom, a wife, a entrepreneur, a dreamer, is hard. And that is an understatement. 

If you build it.........

Hey Siri!

 So guess what? This girl got an apple watch for Christmas! T says I’m unqualified to write a review, as I can’t speak to the technical aspects of it – but oh well. I’ve read it could in the futurestop you from drinking and driving, tell you to take a breath when stressed,monitor & track seizures and I’m sure many other amazing things. Google will tell you all of that. I can tell you about wearing it every day.

The watch is a mixed bag for what I want it to do – which is everything. It’ll get there I’m sure; I’ve just got to be patient (which I am not).

First things first; I can say “Hey Siri” followed by whatever and boom it’s done. I set reminders, I message people, I check the weather all by saying “Hey Siri”. This is very useful for cooking – you know because talking is easier than having to push buttons on the oven.

At any given time you can check how many steps you have taken in the day, how many calories you have burned, how many ‘active’ minutes you’ve done, and the distance you’ve gone. It also wants you to stand every hour for at least a minute. So you’ll be sitting there all nice and cozy and then “DING, get your ass up”. You know you want the reward of perfection (or I do) at the end of the day so up you get. It sets daily goals for you and then ups them weekly depending on how you’ve done. Luckily for me I started it when I was couch ridden with the plague so I set my bar low.

I have found that you need to have your phone close by for it to work. Leave your phone inside, go outside and shovel your driveway – no active minutes for you. If anything, I’ve become a pro at not forgetting my phone anywhere.

Speaking of which. Can’t find your phone? You can control your itunes account from your watch. Start it up, play a song. Done. The watch locks as soon as you take it off, so without knowing the pin code no one can just put it on and have access to all your stuff.

You can’t get facebook on it – probably for the best. You can however send & receive facebook instant messages. You can get instagram. Those are really the only two I use. I also synch my instagram pictures with the picture ap on the watch. For what, I have no clue?

Are you lost pull up a map. Actually have Siri do it. For the most part though it only gives you tidbits of the actual aps. By that, I mean a news headline will come through followed by ‘read more on your iphone’ and you can have it then open on your phone. Same with the camera & flashlight aps. You can open them & then control that feature on your phone. I can see maybe using the camera for setting up pictures, but not sure the purpose of the flashlight?

Another really bad thing (for me) is that you can Amazon shop right from your watch. That is just unhealthy.

My issues with the watch:

1.     It having to be so close to the phone to track. I don’t want to run with my phone, but do want the data. Boo. Fitbit might still have one up here.

2.     I think the options for the face display are corny

3.     It could get really annoying to have constant notifications coming in – I turned off email/instagram notifications.

4.     If I wear it for say 16 hours the battery drains to 40% or so. There is no way I could go two days without charging it.

5.     When needing to respond to a text/email and want to say something other than the standard ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘talk later’ etc. options, you have to dictate to Siri, which means everyone around you hears your side of the communication.

I think that’s it. Answering your watch in public is unbelievably weird. You feel kind of like Inspector Gadget and then very quickly have to tell the person they are on speaker. I learned that one quickly. You can turn off the volume so you don’t get the beeps, and then it kind of taps your wrist – that confuses people even more. Silence, and then you are talking to your arm.

Also learning all the punctuation commands for Siri is exhausting. I can’t stand shortcuts & laziness in text & email communication. I spend more time trying to correct what I just attempted to say than pretty much anything else right now.

Overall, it is making life easier, so that is awesome. I hate becoming more dependent on technology, but there are more pro’s than con’s. So I’ll keep it. Now if only Siri could cook & clean...

Let's not do that again for oh another 12 months.

Well it's over. Now we can all go on & get on with day to day life - oh but wait, the plague hit T & I starting New Years day so basically 2016 is still on stand-still for us.

I now have a four year old. I had to type that out because I am finding it hard to believe that life goes by that quickly. He's four but acting 10; calling T by his name, wanting to 'kill' things, people have become 'stupid' or 'losers'. Awesome. Thanks youtube kid's app. The only really cool thing is his new love for Mario kart - I've still got my racing skills!

Christmas was Christmas. All that was expected happened. Lots of family, lots of food, and only a few potential disappointments & disasters. You know, like my Keurig dying Christmas eve day. Luckily for me (and everyone on the planet) I had purchased a back up 2.0 model the Christmas prior with points and it was waiting ready to set up. J:1, World Ending:0. Then just for shits & giggles my town ran out of Baileys. How is that a thing?! Luckily my neighbors (probably in fear) stock piled for my visits and held me over until I could drive 25 minutes to get some. J:2, World Ending:0

New Years was spent binge watching season one of Bravo's Girlfriends Guide to divorce. Then the plague hit. The kids have had free run of the house and really random food tossed at them for survival. The only wonderful thing about it hitting now is that the house is full of new toys to keep them entertained. I think I'm about 80% now, T is still down for the count. Kids luckily have gotten nothing, but give zero shits about how their parents are feeling.

Me lying on the cold laundry room floor in the dark and the tiny humans joining me - because who needs silence when you have a migraine?

I'm coming up with a plan for 2016. You know list of books to read, # of pounds to lose, projects to create - oh and some reviews of some Christmas gifts. All the fun stuff. Trips, budgets, life plans.

Then my mind wanders to my four year old going to school in the fall, and all the things that go with that, and I start having slight panic attacks. Oh outside world, be nice.

Now I must sleep or I will never get better. I need to reclaim my house from the tiny humans and start the year!

Happy Christmas!

So my plan to blog every day up until Christmas was insane. It it nearly impossible to get enough sleep let alone sit at a computer for longer than 3 seconds. Last night I was grocery shopping at 10pm!

In the next 24 hours I need to:
1. Dust the basement & clean up the toys & place bedding on the couch for my brother
2. Bake Christmas cookies
3. Bake banana chocolate chip muffins
4. Pick up farm fresh eggs
5. Attend Christmas party tonight
6. Pack bags for leaving for 2 days Christmas day
7. Clean main floor of clutter
8. Assemble a gift & hide it
9. Two scheduled visits from friends/family
10. Sleep.

Ok, that is it. The list doesn't seem crazy, but I'm sure I've forgotten a few things and the kids are wound and always want to be doing something.

I think Christmas with young children is comparable to those when I was a child myself. Only now I get to create the magic.

Here are some gems from the season so far:

1. While watching The Grinch (Jim Carey version) G asked T where the Grinch's penis was. You see the Grinch didn't wear any pants and G couldn't see it. I was thankful to NOT have gotten that question.

2. When A came running screaming "I sorry mommy, I SORRY MOMMY" when her attempt at getting candy off the gingerbread house resulted in her dumping it all on the floor.

3. Pushing the kids around the grocery store and having them sing the first line jingle bells (G singing the lines and A yelling "HEY" over and over, and having all the old ladies swoon all over them.

4. At their meeting with Santa, A giving Santa a gift instead of the other way around.

5. A yelling "Happy Christmas!!" every chance she gets - it is even cuter when she puts on a santa hat.

6. The kids and the cat re-decorating the bottom of the tree every other day or so.

7. G going over to cuddle A on the couch and saying "I love you A" and her responding "I love you" back. This is HUGE considering he tells me he doesn't want a sister when he's upset with her.

8. The kids showing little interest in decorating cookies, but when it came time to eat them A spending forever to pick the right cookie to eat.

9. Having not one, not two, but ALL gifts under the tree and the kids NOT opening them. That is a Christmas miracle right there!

10. When visiting friends a pillow with bells on it was being jingled and A coming running thinking it was Santa.

So, if by chance I don't get back here - have a great holiday! Spend time with those you care about and if you can't - spoil yourself!!

Post Holiday Funk

Sorry. Crickets again last night. A girl's gotta sleep - actually lay in bed holding my eyelids open watching SNL. 

I feel like everything this holiday is amped up now with kids. Nothing is calm and easy going or really goes exactly as planned. It is all about getting them excited about the BEST holiday ever.

But here's the thing. I hate this. Why? Because the quiet after the holiday is depressing. I myself like to take down all the decorations as fast as humanly possible to return the house to 'normal' - but away goes all the homemade ornaments, and cards from friends & family, and the warm glow in the living room from the twinkle lights at the end of a long day. I love that light.

I understand this is somewhat selfish as many people find themselves depressed just with the holiday approaching. I know far too many people this year who have lost a loved one, or their job, and I'm sure aren't enjoying having to go through the motions. I get that.

I often think about what I would do if I didn't have so many family events that I had to attend. What would I do with a quiet holiday? If I could afford it I think I would travel. If I couldn't, I often like to think I'd host something for others who couldn't get home for the holiday. Something about a group of random people who don't know each other having a meal sounds kind of fun.

If there is one thing I have figured out about myself is that I always need to be looking forward to something. A trip, a social event, a holiday, something. If there is nothing to look forward to I find myself ultimately sad. I thought this would change after having kids and it hasn't. I also feel like if I don't have enough events planned for them I'm failing their childhoods. So I kind of fear the 'after' of the holidays.

Years ago I'd be depressed to think that we were this far into December and I didn't have New Years plans, but becoming a parent has changed that. Just to go out requires finding a babysitter (who doesn't have a social life), a new outfit, drinks, probably a nice meal.... and all of that is wonderful IF the kids didn't wake up at the ass crack of dawn. I'm too old to be out until 2am and dragged out of bed at 7. Also not fun to go out with only one of us drinking while the other stares at their watch wishing for sleep.

So why is it that I'm perfectly ok doing nothing for big social events, but I still need something to look forward to? I can opt out, but still need something to keep me going. I guess G's birthday being January 2nd moves the focus there, but after that......

I've been thinking a lot about New Years resolutions, coming up with plans to make 2016 successful, and coming up with concrete steps to achieve. I think part of that might need to be a map of the year and an event every month or so to always have something, because I don't want to fall into a funk and not be able to crawl out of it until spring.

Holiday Cheer

What is the first drink that comes to mind when you think of Christmas? Probably Eggnog, which I find absolutely disgusting. My go-to non alcoholic beverage for the holidays has always been Canada Dry cranberry ginger ale. However, this year stores carried is starting at the Canadian Thanksgiving (October) which ticked me off. Out of spite I have not bought any this year.

This pic is from last Christmas

The type of drink over the years on Christmas eve has not changed for me, but the quantity sure has. I can no longer wake early open gifts and then nap. Instead of a bottle or wine or even a glass at dinner, I think I'll be skipping it this year and just sticking with my rye & pepsi's. I'll play it safe to avoid a headache or hangover.

Now Christmas morning will without a doubt be my coffee & baileys. I start every morning that way :) Other years my sister and I would make mimosa's late morning - but this year with her being pregnant that is out. So again relatively tame.

If you don't want to be tame this year I highly suggest a Raspberry Pomegranate Champagne Cocktail. It is a bit of work but definitely worth it!

Couch potato time

Most people would assume after hearing my distaste for Christmas music I would also dislike Christmas movies. Wrong! I love a good Christmas movie. I do however not love the classics like White Christmas, or the original Rudolph the red nosed reindeer (that snow beast is terrifying), etc. I will even sit through those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies this time of year. This is the ONLY time of year when my inner movie critic is somewhat nice.

Family tradition (one my father started) has been to have National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation on the TV at some point Christmas eve. No one (but dad) actually sits through the entire movie, but it is not Christmas eve without it. I'm not sure there is a person on the planet who hasn't seen this movie by now?

As a kid I loved Christmas Eve on Sesame Street. I watched it yearly probably into my teens and now own it for my kids to watch. Last year I put it on for G and was asked where Elmo was and then he lost interest :( Maybe I'll make another attempt at it this year? I found a less scary version of Rudolph the red nose reindeer last week that held the kids attention, and today I put on Arthur Christmas and G loved it. They have watched The Grinch twice, and a few Mickey Mouse Christmas movies. I really want them to see A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa & maybe The Muppets Christmas Carol - however, I think they are a bit young. Another on the list is The Polar Express.

And when they get old enough of course Home Alone - do I have to let them know they made sequels? 

I walked into the room the other night and T had Elf on for them! Had to shut that one down quickly.

So many movies so little time!

Three favorites of mine are The Holiday,  Love Actually & The Family Stone. I can watch them a million times and still love them. Another (not Christmas themed) that I usually watch this time of year is Autumn in New York. I love that movie.

I wanted to see Love the Coopers but missed it in theater. It looked like a good (funny) family Christmas movie. Tonight I'm going to watch Christmas Eve on the couch, under a blanket, with some popcorn, & I might even toss on the fire place. The countdown to bedtime is on!

Last minute gift ideas here!

I apologize for the crickets yesterday. I wish I could tell you I was caught up in a book, or visiting friends, or sleeping - but no. I got caught up doing a million different things and at 10:45 when I started to blog T came to bed and told me to go to sleep. I agreed.

So just in-case anyone out there is still on the hunt for Christmas gifts and don't have a clue what to get I'll share with you my favorite things & a few gifts I've purchased for others.

Is there a book lover in your life? I've used the all eBook types of devices and hands down love my kindle paperwhite the best. It's very simple, no distractions flashing at me, not heavy, and you can control the backlight to adjust to your surroundings. If your book lover already has a device, a gift certificate to amazon to buy books is never a bad thing. You can even purchase it on their website and email the gift card to them. Awesome - your gift won't be late.

How about someone who is all about summer? I (probably have already mentioned before) recommend Montrail Molokini sandals. These sandals mold to your feet. They are the most comfortable pair I have ever owned, and don't cost a fortune. I wore my first pair for two summers probably close to every day from April - October. I JUST got myself a new pair and they are wrapped under the tree.

Only the locals can grab a bottle of this amazing stuff. I discovered lighthouse lemonade this summer while at a farmer's market on the way up to the beach. The tiniest bit in a glass of water and you are drinking sunshine. I picked up two bottles in September to last the winter & just finished the first.

Know someone who loses EVERYTHING? Get these. I can't vouch for the speediness as it took a LONG time (and nasty FB posts on their page) to get mine after I signed up when it was still I think in kick-starter stage - but I basically stuck one on everything T needs to leave the house in the morning. All morning freak outs have ended.

Do you have family that lives far away and you wish you could send them pic's on the regular without them having to go to their computer to view or print out and put on the fridge? I suggest this. It is the Pix-Star digital picture frame. It receives pictures via email. The frame can be programmed to turn itself on in the morning and off at night. We gave this as a gift to my parents a few years ago when the grand kids started arriving and it has been wonderful. My parents aren't overly technical so I set it up (user must have Wifi) and I can monitor the feed from here through their site.

Those are what come to mind off the top of my head. Now sorry to cut this short but I snuck out for a 5km run in the cold tonight and need a bath & my book to warm up :)

Christmas for me as a kid

I often long for the days to go back to when all Christmas meant was a school Christmas play that took us away from classes, time away from school, seeing my cousins, and lots of gifts. I didn't quite grasp all the hard work that went into it.

I remember my mom would always hang a December calendar with pockets on the door between our kitchen & living room. There was a mouse that you would move from day to day to count down until Christmas. Every morning we would wake up and race downstairs to be the first person to move that mouse. Your first step out of bed would be a leap across the room, followed by shoving people out of the way and sliding across the floor to grab that mouse. Then IF by chance someone else had done it my OCD made me move it back and re-move it forward again.

I clearly remember Santa coming to my third grade classroom to visit with all the kids. I don't remember what he exactly did there - but I do recall realizing it was my grandfather in a Santa suit. I went home and demanded answers and was told that my grandfather was actually one of Santa's helpers (he had a wood shop and lived up north) and that he was filling in for Santa because he was so busy & I actually bought that.

Yup, that's me on Grandpa Santa's lap

It wasn't until one Christmas when my aunt came to visit and her & dad got drinking and started playing with my brother's remote control truck in the house a little too early in the night. The next morning it was 'from Santa' - I remember being crushed. I wish I could remember how old I was? Maybe 10? We had cousins that would often tell us there was no Santa prior to that and we'd choose to ignore them because that would mean giving up the gifts.

Every year we would put up the decorations with my mom in November the week my dad went hunting. It was always exciting because we thought it would be a surprise for him when he got home. When in reality he is the one who actually had to go up to the attic to get them down before he left. The same week when I was older I'd have one night of watching my brother & sister while my mom & aunt started their Christmas shopping. I remember one year we decided to burglar-proof the house like in Home Alone and used buckets of water to ice everything cement leading to the house. My aunt pulled in the driveway and nearly slid right into the garage doors.

One thing that stands out is that my mother would do all the Christmas shopping so on Christmas morning she would know what gift to hand to each person and how to 'run the show'. My dad more often than not would go out and buy a special gift (usually something to do with technology) and place it under the tree that my mom would have no clue about. That surprise was always the best.

I am very grateful to have memories like these. I only hope that my kids 30 years from now remember the fun aspects of the holidays I'm trying to create for them.

You know those random questions you get once in awhile about if you could go back in life and re-live one day, which would it be? I'd have to say one of those Christmas' from my childhood would be a top contender.

Christmas morning I'm thinking 1988

Stress free travel

In a perfect world to travel to & from every Christmas party or gathering this season, I would get in my car alone, grab a coffee, and hit the road. I'd probably sing at the top of my lungs, maybe call a few people to catch up (bluetooth of course), and enjoy the time to myself.

Unfortunately that is not currently the world I'm living in. Before I had children I used to claim I'd never be the mother who put the TV's in the car to entertain the kids. I'd make them look out the windows, and sing songs, and tell stories, like when I was a kid. Yeah- not so much.

My trips of any great distance usually go something like this:
1. Pack everything you can the night before
2. Make sure the vehicle has gas - night before
3. Change the movie in the CD player - night before
4. Gather last minute items (soother, stuffed animals in the morning)
5. Dress, feed, and then layer on a second layer of coats/boots.
6. Grab a handful of snacks & make sure to have juice boxes
7. Make sure kids have their ipods
8. Get one kid into the car while the other is free range doing whatever.
9. Make sure movie starts, and kids have snack and drink.
10. Maybe stop for a coffee while explaining to the children they do not NEED timbits or cake pops
12. Drive like hell to get where you are going. You WILL have to stop for someone to pee on the side of the road.

Other tips include driving when your kids nap, or right at bedtime for hopefully an easy transfer into their beds.

We took a 7 hour trip with both kids last year and were grateful to have an empty bottle when we got held up at the border for 1.5 hours and G had to pee.

I purchased a Panasonic set of TV's (great if you have two kids or two rows). They can each watch the same movie or separate movies. The kids are getting earphones this year to hopefully stop the arguing over sound when watching different movies. I recommend them. I've used them for over 2 years now and I haven't had any issues. AND it appears they are discontinued.... not sure why? Try and find something similar.

I also have a handful of toys that stay in the car at all times, and will often let them choose one or two.

Until they are old enough to have lengthy conversations or want sections of the newspaper I think this will be our go to routine. My parents are 1.5 hours away, the cottage is 2 hours away, and even running into the city can end up being 40 minutes.

On return from my parents I discovered the best way in December to keep my kids quiet......

Who wants cookies?!

My idea of making Christmas cookies last week involved buying the box of Pillsbury pre-cut cookies (star wars themed) rolling them in red & greens sprinkles and calling it a day. The kids loved them, but I felt I was robbing them of the experience I had as a child of decorating cookies of all different shapes and sizes.

So today I packed up the kids and drove 1.5 hours to my parents house to make Christmas cookies. I envisioned a thick layer of icing and sprinkles covering everything within sight. Better this happens at her house than mine!

We got here and the kids wasted zero time. The cookies were baked yesterday and the kids got to pick what color of icing they wanted - A pink, G green, and a yellow was made.

My mother then did something genius. She created the kids work surfaces out of cookie trays. Sprinkles were all contained. Then the genius wore off when she handed the kids bowls of icing with kid sized knives and thought they would ice their own cookies. I very quickly intercepted a knife covered in frosting before it entered A's mouth. The sprinkles I couldn't stop. Both kids definitely ate more sprinkles than what they put on the cookies.

In the end three dozen cookies were decorated. I think six have been eaten, and there are quite a few sprinkles on the floor. It doesn't matter, the kids are having a blast with Grandma and I am dreaming of a peaceful few minutes alone tonight in the hot tub :)

Christmas crafting

Every once in awhile I get this great idea that the kids and I should do crafts. Or, in reality in December I feel obligated to put something cute on the grandparents presents from the kids. I put aside the fact that G has no clue how to use scissors, and A covers herself in marker more than whatever she is working on and aim to create something cute.

Today was the day. I'd done some late night browsing on Pinterest and found a craft that we had all the stuff for at home. (Yay free!) I figured it might take an hour tops.....I should have known from our gingerbread house disaster.

While grocery shopping with both kids we came across the box for this gingerbread house and oh did we HAVE to have it. Knowing the kit itself contains crap for actual candy I hit up the bulk section and bought a bit more. I also bought icing, the kids are not capable of taking much direction. It was basically make the roof structurally sound (it only collapsed twice) and let the kids go nuts. The roof may actually be supported by a jube jube, last year it was a toothpick, not shocking I'm not an architect.

I have the gingerbread house up on the buffet in what I thought was a safe spot. It turns out G is able to reach the house, and A has discovered how to move boxes to climb onto to reach it herself. Of course they think they are sneaky doing so. In the span of an hour today from G I heard:

"A go distract mom and I'll go get us candies!"

"Mom, I think you should make a phone call"

"Mom I think you should go clean by yourself in that room over there"

It got to the point where I left the water running in the kitchen so he thought I was in there and actually stood directly in front of the house. I scared the shit out of him. It was awesome. He turned and ran so fast I thought he was going to run straight into a wall. Oh, the joys of having kids.

Anyway - back to craft time. I decided to try and make artsy Christmas ornaments to hang in windows. I took clear contact paper (I think that is what it is called? It's back peels off and it's sticky) and taped it down sticky side up. I had cut random shapes out of red & green tissue paper and then let the kids at it to create their masterpieces. A took her time placing every shape in the perfect spot, G tossed everything on and was done in two seconds.

The HA totally photo bombed

I then placed more contact paper on top and cut the sheet into circles. Next came an ornament shape in white construction paper followed by black, a bunch of glue & some yarn. The trick was getting it so that the white/black circles were even so when the light shines through you don't have a shadow behind any of the art.

Anyway, the one hour project took like three. Done & done until next year - when maybe they have more art skills!

It's time to give back

One of my favorite memories as child is my mother taking us to Zellers to pick out a toy we thought someone our own age would like. We would run up and down the aisles looking at barbies, and dolls, and board games, taking everything on the shelf into consideration before picking the perfect one. I believe we had a budget of $25 but finding something or a few things for that amount was never difficult.

We would then drive to the salvation army and hand the toys over.

My mother always explained to us that there were kids just like us out there that might not be getting that many gifts for Christmas so our gifts would make sure their Christmas morning was happy. We did this every year until high school if I remember correctly. After that my mother not only volunteered at the salvation army during November & December,  but also still picks tags with a anonymous child's information on it and purchases a gift or two for that child.

This is something I want to start with my children. G currently is very curious and very sensitive about new things he is learning, so I'm hoping it will go over well. A will undoubtedly have a death grip on the item and I'll have to distract her in order to get it away.

This year I am just going to explain (like my mother had) that we are buying gifts for children who won't be getting very many on Christmas morning. I'm going to try not to go into too much detail as I don't think G can quite grasp the concept yet. Next year I'll have answers prepared for why Santa can't just bring them more gifts? and can we go play with those kids? and why can't their parents buy them more? I'll have answers next year - when maybe A can understand it also.

So far I have donated to both the canned food drive & the toy drive at T's work. I've also been going through toys and donating what is no longer used or was never popular. In January I plan to go on a major purge of stuff (but that's another blog post). 

So as I can officially say ALL my Christmas shopping (except a few groceries) is complete. I plan on taking the kids one (hopefully quiet) morning next week to pick out a gift and maybe a sucker for distraction to pry the donations out of their hands.

I've seen a few things floating around the internet about doing a reverse advent calendar. Starting December 1st every day you put something in a box - it can be food or a toy or clothing, really anything is helpful and then on Dec 24th you donate your box. I think this is a great idea, however, December 24th is too late for anywhere you donate to get the items out to the people who need them the next day. Maybe double up the items every day and donate on the 15th. Even if you can only donate one or two items, those two items might add two dishes to a family dinner or two gifts to a child who believes in Santa. I guarantee you, you will feel amazing after doing so.

Christmas Organization 101

By now it should be pretty obvious that I’m a perfectionist & I love organization. Have I mentioned that? If you want a seemingly smooth month of December here is my approach. Maybe I should have posted this December 1. Shit. Guess I’m not that organized.

In the last few weeks of November print out a calendar of the month of December (easily done in Microsoft word). Grab some different color markers and mark everyone’s schedules. On top of that add the holiday parties and family gatherings. Next make a list of what you need to get accomplished in December (cleaning, baking, etc.) and schedule those in. Look at New Years – got plans? Schedule that. Need childcare? Make some phone calls and get that set up ahead of time.

Next up create a master Christmas spreadsheet (or list if not technically inclined). This spreadsheet has list of people you are buying gifts for, what the gift is, and how much it costs. Also includes if the gift has been purchased or not. This keeps a running tab of money you have spent on Christmas and what you still have to put out. Include EVERYONE – paperboy, boss, children’s teacher, list them all! Now look at that list and determine when you will be seeing the person to give the gift – Add it to the calendar. Does it have to be shipped? Mark that on your calendar for early in the month – maybe you can add it to the Christmas card?

Christmas cards are in the spreadsheet of course. List all the friends & family and their addresses – make notes of new spouses or children's names. If an address has changed email or call them to ask early in the month – Add that to the calendar! 

This spreadsheet also has all names & address of friends & family members you are sending cards to. It fills a second sheet that you can mail merge and create labels from. Also the best thing ever created for mass amounts of cards is a self-address stamp- worth every penny. I keep this spreadsheet and just update it yearly – so much easier to look back on what you have given the previous year to not duplicate.

I also try to meal plan 10 days at a time to avoid too many trips to the grocery store this time of year and that makes it much easier to always know what needs to be thawed or roasted, and you can plan meals with the leftovers – might save a little on groceries that can go towards Christmas. And by all means if you have children buy a ton of AA and AAA batteries as people love to give kids gifts, but forget to include the batteries!

So this is how I stay on track. My calendar also includes holiday crafts & movies for the kids to keep them busy and not stir-crazy, helping to keep my house clean and my sanity in-check. Luckily this year I’ve also kept up on exercise (thanks warm weather!), and haven’t yet wanted to lock myself in my closet. I do however put a little baileys in my coffee every morning!

Let's Eat!

Christmas dinner is a HUGE responsibility. So huge I don’t think I’ve ever taken it on solely. I leave that up to my mother & mother in law. I’m perfectly fine contributing to the meal in the way of say mashed potatoes or a salad, but the entire thing I’m terrified to attempt.

You see I’m not a huge cook. I don’t love to be in the kitchen at all. Recipes that have too many ingredients, or ingredients I can’t pronounce, or have to go to a specialty grocery store to purchase, aren’t happening in this house. Also picky eaters (me included) put a kibosh on most new dishes.

This year however I am hosting Christmas Eve dinner. I need to feed 5 adults & 2 kids. I need to steer clear of turkey, ham, or anything that seems Christmas related as there will be too much of that in the days to follow.  So here is what I’m throwing together.

Mini Lasagnas - So easy and the recipe makes tons. 

Caesar Salad – store bought of course ;) or maybe I’ll let my mom bring it

Caprese Garlic Bread - So good!

Cheesecake Dip - Not at all healthy. But it's Christmas so toss calories to the wind. You can switch it up and add any pie filling, but cherry is always a hit. (For Canadians finding the no-bake jello cheesecake mix is impossible to find. I buy in Michigan)

Now of course the dessert is a favorite that I’ve made the last 2 years. The lasagna’s I made in October to try out the recipe, and the garlic bread I made in September as part of a fancy lunch. I don’t dare try new recipes the night of, the night would for sure result in take-out pizza!

Wishful Thinking

You know it is no secret that I LOVE to read. However as per usual the last few years it is something that gets put at the very end of the days 'to do' list. It feels like the list of books I want to read grows & grows and I never get caught up.

I keep dreaming of the day when the house is organized and clean and the kids are playing contently and I can squeeze in a chapter here or there. I feel like that will maybe happen in 2017?

Every year I see numerous Christmas or Holiday themed books come out and I always want to read them, as they don’t interest me the rest of the year. However, with how busy November & December is it never happens. And the list continues to grow.

So in no particular order here are a few on my list. I plan on reading at least one before Christmas. Ok, I WILL read one before Christmas. I can't vouch for if they are well written - I'm sure they are all terribly corny - but tis the season!!

One Week in December - Holly Chamberlin

Christmas to Remember  - JennyHale

A family for Christmas - Noelle Adams

A Lancaster County Christmas - Suzanne Woods Fisher

When snow falls - Fern Michaels

The Christmas Cottage - Samantha Chase

The Christmas Wish - Maggie Marr

One that I currently have on my Kindle which is most likely is to be read is Jane Green's 'This Christmas'

Most of these books can be found on Tuebl free or for cheap on Amazon.

I wish you a comfy chair, a warm cup of tea, a quiet space, and unlimited time to read over the holidays!!

Silence. Please.

Torture. Headaches. The urge to drive the car off a cliff - All things that occur the second a Christmas song comes on the radio.

I hate Christmas music. I don’t know what it is about it specifically? The repetitiveness, the perkiness, the absence of ‘new music’? It is always the same songs sang by different people. It might be better if say they were played from December 1- December 25, but no, they gotta start that shit in October.

Over the years luckily I have been able to avoid Christmas music to the point of being able to forget the words. Until now. All those years of precious silence undone. The kids are now at an age where they want to sing about reindeers and Santa and jingle bells, and they want me to teach them.

We started with jingle bells. They caught on quick. They then proceeded to sing the verse over and over, and made it a game as to who could sing it the fastest. Pure torture, especially on long car rides.

Next we moved onto Santa Clause is coming to town so that I could drill the concept of being good this month into their heads. They are not as great at this song, but while out shopping last week a store played it and A put on an amazing dance show in the middle of the aisle. Pretty damn cute.

That is as far as I’ve gotten. It is also as far as I want to go. G has taken to creating his own Christmas songs and I’m fine with that. It is new music.

I do have a favorite winter song. Not Christmas, just winter. I’ve loved Sarah McLachlan’s version of ‘Winter’s night’ from the first time I heard it. It is in NO way a Christmas song.  

Now, on my quest to learn the words to more Christmas songs so I can teach them to the children (torture, pure torture), I have purchased two Christmas CD's by artists I like to try and make the experience more enjoyable (failing so far). However, the albums themselves are great if you enjoy Christmas music. So, (by pure coincidence sticking to Canadian artists) I suggest Jann Arden’s 'A Jann Arden Christmas' & Blue Rodeo’s 'A Merrie Christmas to you'.

I am not sure what the solution is to my distaste, but I do know living with it was far easier before I had children. Now please excuse me while I plug my ears for the next 19 days.

Having Faith

WARNING: If you are easily offended by discussion of religion, skip this post.

I recall briefly attending Sunday school when very young and attending mass on Christmas Eve during my teenage years with my mom. My younger brother played hockey and Sunday mornings were usually spent at the arena for a practice or chores or travelling to visit relatives. Church was never the first priority. Christmas eve was the only time I went to church with the exception of weddings & funerals. My mother has attended Free Methodist church regularly for the last 20 years or so. 

I found actual church services very cult-like. All the chanting and up/down, repeat this, repeat that – I didn’t find healthy. I believe as everyone is different, people have different levels of faith and different levels of worship. This felt too forced. It wasn’t for me.

When I turned 20 I decided to move into an apartment with my then boyfriend and was harshly judged by religious family members. Not to mention I was looked down upon for not having the same level of faith as they did. Not cool.

All these things made me push against religion further and further. Add in tales of others struggles dealing with friends/families not being able to attend this or that due to their differences of religion and the rules that come with that religion.

  

You see I’m tired of hearing "because these people believe this, they are bombing this” or “because this person belongs to this faith and these rules he/she cannot attend this event”. I’m tired of all the separation and rules mandated on those who follow religions. 

My mother once argued “What about being a good person, and having morals by following the 10 commandments?”  I don’t believe you have to follow a religion to be a good person. I can tell you right now the church did not teach me my morals or what is right & wrong. My public school teachers, and surrounding myself with those people who were great mentors is what did it for me. I didn’t attend church regularly and I consider myself a pretty decent human being.

Maybe you don’t think I’m a decent human being because I’m not religious, there is probably some rule about those who reject religion. The thing is I don’t reject it; it just isn’t for me. Do I have faith? Sure. Do I believe you should be able to follow what ever ‘faith’ you want to and not have to abide by every rule set out by one specific religion you choose to join – yes. And I think more and more young people are going that way. 

We chose to not be married in a church. Why? Because we don’t go. We chose not to have our children baptized. Why? Because we want them to choose their own faith. We want to teach them the concepts of many religions and allow them to make the decision instead of us making it for them. That way hopefully we will also give them a greater acceptance of all cultures and do a tiny part of easing the divide.

I can’t tell you how many arguments this has caused in my family. The last one was over my mother bringing Christian items for the kids the last few times she visited. I tried to explain we weren’t introducing religion to the children yet and she asked why we were even celebrating Christmas. My answer:

To me Christmas is about tradition. It is about family. It is about showing those close to us that we love them and giving them gifts to show this. It is about time spent together as a family as far too often we can never all be at the same place at the same time anymore. It is about the magic for the children. Seeing their smiles and hearing their laughter and experiencing the joys of Christmas as a child once again, that over the years seem to have been forgotten.

I told her if that wasn’t good enough to not celebrate it with us. That was hard; she got upset and left my house. It took a few days and me explaining that my view on religion is in no way saying she is a bad person. I am all for what works for you, but this works for us.

So, that is just a tidbit. As with religion, and politics, etc. there are many views and no one view is correct. You may agree or disagree, that is fine. I don’t judge. 

Religion rant over.

All I want for Christmas is.....

-->Every year T listens to exactly what I’m commenting on throughout the year and ends up secretly purchasing thoughtful gifts throughout the year and hiding them until Christmas. Hahahaha NO. Not even close. More like every year he waits until December 23^rd to go “oh shit…., what did we get people for Christmas? What do you want again?”. So lovely.

So in the off chance he views this any time in the next 19 days here’s the list!

1.    8 hours of sleep minimum EVERY night.

2.   A machine that sorts & folds laundry

3.   An extra hour in every day to just read.

4.  An unlimited amazon gift card to buy books for that hour

5.  New carpet and/or hardwood in the living room.

6.  My own room. Oh to have my own space!!! A girl can dream.

7.  A new mattress (preferably a sleep number bed, I’ve heard good things)

8.  Hunter rain boots. I love footwear that I can slip on and off, as I’m so busy putting on the kids shoes and coats. This is also an attempt so save some sort of style.

9.  A Columbia winter jacket & snow pants. I don’t really want this, but I need it. Unfortunately I see a lot of sledding in the next few years.

10.  A flask. To survive the sledding

11. An asymmetrical jacket. I love watching Scandal and Olivia rocks those jackets, so I want one too!

12. An iWatch. Why? Because Apple.

13. Cineplex gift cards. As much as our android box has almost all movies, it is hard to watch them without distraction. I miss the theater experience

14. The Nest Chair from Urban barn. I’m secretly planning the redecorating of the upstairs living room around this chair.

15. Reciprocating saw & sawhorse and/or workstation.

Ok, maybe I got carried away there. But for someone who used to be given body shop gift package after body shop gift package because I’m too hard to buy for – you can clearly see that isn’t the case at all!

In reality Christmas is all about the kids now and I would gladly get nothing if it meant the kids got everything on their lists. Speaking of which, G decided to send Santa a revision of his original list today. Where is one to find a flying dusty? I’m pretty sure they don’t trust flying toys to children that young!!