Happy Christmas!

So my plan to blog every day up until Christmas was insane. It it nearly impossible to get enough sleep let alone sit at a computer for longer than 3 seconds. Last night I was grocery shopping at 10pm!

In the next 24 hours I need to:
1. Dust the basement & clean up the toys & place bedding on the couch for my brother
2. Bake Christmas cookies
3. Bake banana chocolate chip muffins
4. Pick up farm fresh eggs
5. Attend Christmas party tonight
6. Pack bags for leaving for 2 days Christmas day
7. Clean main floor of clutter
8. Assemble a gift & hide it
9. Two scheduled visits from friends/family
10. Sleep.

Ok, that is it. The list doesn't seem crazy, but I'm sure I've forgotten a few things and the kids are wound and always want to be doing something.

I think Christmas with young children is comparable to those when I was a child myself. Only now I get to create the magic.

Here are some gems from the season so far:

1. While watching The Grinch (Jim Carey version) G asked T where the Grinch's penis was. You see the Grinch didn't wear any pants and G couldn't see it. I was thankful to NOT have gotten that question.

2. When A came running screaming "I sorry mommy, I SORRY MOMMY" when her attempt at getting candy off the gingerbread house resulted in her dumping it all on the floor.

3. Pushing the kids around the grocery store and having them sing the first line jingle bells (G singing the lines and A yelling "HEY" over and over, and having all the old ladies swoon all over them.

4. At their meeting with Santa, A giving Santa a gift instead of the other way around.

5. A yelling "Happy Christmas!!" every chance she gets - it is even cuter when she puts on a santa hat.

6. The kids and the cat re-decorating the bottom of the tree every other day or so.

7. G going over to cuddle A on the couch and saying "I love you A" and her responding "I love you" back. This is HUGE considering he tells me he doesn't want a sister when he's upset with her.

8. The kids showing little interest in decorating cookies, but when it came time to eat them A spending forever to pick the right cookie to eat.

9. Having not one, not two, but ALL gifts under the tree and the kids NOT opening them. That is a Christmas miracle right there!

10. When visiting friends a pillow with bells on it was being jingled and A coming running thinking it was Santa.

So, if by chance I don't get back here - have a great holiday! Spend time with those you care about and if you can't - spoil yourself!!

Post Holiday Funk

Sorry. Crickets again last night. A girl's gotta sleep - actually lay in bed holding my eyelids open watching SNL. 

I feel like everything this holiday is amped up now with kids. Nothing is calm and easy going or really goes exactly as planned. It is all about getting them excited about the BEST holiday ever.

But here's the thing. I hate this. Why? Because the quiet after the holiday is depressing. I myself like to take down all the decorations as fast as humanly possible to return the house to 'normal' - but away goes all the homemade ornaments, and cards from friends & family, and the warm glow in the living room from the twinkle lights at the end of a long day. I love that light.

I understand this is somewhat selfish as many people find themselves depressed just with the holiday approaching. I know far too many people this year who have lost a loved one, or their job, and I'm sure aren't enjoying having to go through the motions. I get that.

I often think about what I would do if I didn't have so many family events that I had to attend. What would I do with a quiet holiday? If I could afford it I think I would travel. If I couldn't, I often like to think I'd host something for others who couldn't get home for the holiday. Something about a group of random people who don't know each other having a meal sounds kind of fun.

If there is one thing I have figured out about myself is that I always need to be looking forward to something. A trip, a social event, a holiday, something. If there is nothing to look forward to I find myself ultimately sad. I thought this would change after having kids and it hasn't. I also feel like if I don't have enough events planned for them I'm failing their childhoods. So I kind of fear the 'after' of the holidays.

Years ago I'd be depressed to think that we were this far into December and I didn't have New Years plans, but becoming a parent has changed that. Just to go out requires finding a babysitter (who doesn't have a social life), a new outfit, drinks, probably a nice meal.... and all of that is wonderful IF the kids didn't wake up at the ass crack of dawn. I'm too old to be out until 2am and dragged out of bed at 7. Also not fun to go out with only one of us drinking while the other stares at their watch wishing for sleep.

So why is it that I'm perfectly ok doing nothing for big social events, but I still need something to look forward to? I can opt out, but still need something to keep me going. I guess G's birthday being January 2nd moves the focus there, but after that......

I've been thinking a lot about New Years resolutions, coming up with plans to make 2016 successful, and coming up with concrete steps to achieve. I think part of that might need to be a map of the year and an event every month or so to always have something, because I don't want to fall into a funk and not be able to crawl out of it until spring.