I’ve officially hit third trimester, and while I can’t complain that anything bad has happened there are a few things to note:
1. I’m tired of peeing or scheduling around peeing, or not having to pee and then the moment you stand up you have to make a run for it or you are going to wet your pants. Getting up out of bed in first tri to pee was easy, getting up out of bed in third tri takes skill and determination. What I would do for a pair of ‘holy shit’ bars to be installed on the wall or the side of my dresser for me to be able to pull myself out of bed over the mountain of pillows I require to sleep comfortably. I almost enjoy it when T is away or sleeping downstairs as I just roll myself off his side of the bed.
2. The alien movements are odd. At first I couldn’t tell if they were movements or bad gas, but let me tell you the alien does and moves where it wants when it wants. However, the alien is stubborn and will kick up a storm until T wants to feel it and then Alien goes back to sleep! Alien is head down so it likes to punch my nether regions and let me tell you that is NOTHING like I have ever experienced before and would be ok if it never happens again.
3. Heartburn lights EVERYTHING on fire. So far only anything with tomatoes starts the fire, but that is unbelievably horrible for me as I crave most things Italian constantly – no more pizza, no more spaghetti, etc. I’m sure my thighs and waistline will thank me for giving up those cravings now but I’m having no luck finding anything close that replaces them. A big serving of lasagne set all fluids in my body on fire to the point where I was ripping off my clothing and contemplating putting ice cubes in my cold bath water. T refers to that evening as ‘The Turning Point’.
4. Kids are expensive – even before they come out! Do you know how much crap one baby needs – it’s insane. You think stroller, car seat, crib etc, but what you don’t think is attachment for stroller, plus accessories for stroller, extra base for car seat, car seat cover, seat protector from projectile vomiting, etc. And don’t even get me started on diapers, wipes, bottles, breast pump stuff – it is just way too much shit. We got a shed to clear out some of the garage for outdoor baby items, and are now purchasing a bigger vehicle to transport baby and all its shit. The list never ends.
5. Braxton hick’s contractions are zero fun. To date I’ve had two and they feel like someone is expanding your stomach as big as it will go, while at the same time getting a massive cramp and feeling like the Alien is trying to make its exit out my belly button. The last contraction happened while I was in Pottery Barn – way to make shopping un-enjoyable Alien!
6. Pregnant ladies and old ladies are two of the same. Our pants are pulled up to our boobs, we pee the same amount, we eat the same stuff as to not upset our stomachs, we don’t sleep well, we walk the same pace, and we all shop for diapers. I could seriously join one of those bus tours and fit right in - and I'm sure I'd win the fight to sit closest to the bathroom!
But on the brightside 13 weeks or 91 days to go!!!
