Monday, February 27, 2012

It is only going to be the event of the year..

…ok maybe the event of the second half. My little (but only by 17 months) sis is getting married! Every spare awake semi alert moment I have I’m helping to plan and organize a late summer tent wedding, and let me tell you tent weddings are a b*%ch. You have to think of everything from keeping ice cold, to a dance floor, to who’s going to wipe dew off the chairs. Only the most insane person would take on this feat and this is exactly who my sister is. I of course LOVE every moment of planning and organzing but am not 100% on my game as the alien wears me out.

Luckily as the alien gets older he gets easier and I'm becoming an expert internet researcher, budget cruncher, shrink, and my inner Martha stewart is back in action with craft ideas!
But now about the stress that is on me. The alien arrived 8 weeks ago today and for 6 of those weeks I was allowed to do nothing of the physical sort. Now that didn’t stop me from going up and down steps, carrying heavy objects, or doing two laps around the block on nice days…but these thighs and ass haven’t seen exercise since….does waddling in early November count? I was put on modified bed rest in November so you can only imagine what I look like in a bridesmaid dress right now.

Also, not JUST a bridesmaid dress. The maid of honor dress. It is different from the other bridesmaids and I get to stand RIGHT next to the bride. I’m not sure this is a great idea? You see my legs and thighs and ass are scary, the ta-ta’s are enormous, and thanks to the alien packing on weight and wanting to be held all the time my arms are getting fierce.
The dress is small. It’s short. I made sure that the ‘girls’ have coverage so they won’t be officiating the ceremony – but still the dress is still not something I would ever consider wearing if it wasn’t for my little sister. Did I mention the dress is hot raspberry? Oy.

So here we go people. When the alien naps in the morning on weekdays I’m hitting that treadmill for 45 minutes or the alien and I will go on 6k walks on nice days…come on spring! This wedding is 2 days short of 6 months away and I’ve got 25lbs that are not invited to the wedding.
So here is the dress (not this color). We have to order the dresses this week in order to have them in time so of course having dress measurements taken made me want to crawl into a hole and NEVER show any kind of skin again. There is no before picture as that would require me to get dressed and do my hair, and um shower and the alien hasn’t allowed me to do any of that today. I just got the option to blog or shower and I chose blog….so feel special!!!! I do however have a weight loss buddy, I have admitted my weight and measurements out loud, and I feel that is the first step. I WILL get back to that post ½ marathon body!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Alien Landed


I have become that person. The person I hated through my entire 20’s. The person I would ‘write off’ for all social activities.

The alien arrived January 2nd and my life had turned completely upside down ever since. The arrival of the alien is so long and traumatic I’m currently putting together a high school speaking tour to bring an end to all teenage pregnancies :)
The shit ‘they’ don’t tell you about the end of pregnancy/giving birth/afterwards is enough to bring an end to the over population of the planet. It is a good thing I didn’t know or alien wouldn’t be here. And those who have had children can’t say they forget – because that shit can’t be forgotten, it’ll probably cause me night terrors for life!

BUT.
The alien is awesome. HE rules my world – seriously. He has taken over everything. He is within feet, if not on me 99% of my time. I am constantly thinking about if he’s hungry, if he’s gassy, if he’s dirty, if he’s breathing – Yes, I’m that mom that wakes up to watch his chest move up and down.

Watching him is my favorite thing to do. Watching his facial expressions or his hand gestures, or even watching him pitch a fit is priceless.  A month in I can tell when he’s hungry (he gives me a one-eyed pirate face), when he’s gassy (he smirks or screams), or even when he’s going to put a load in his pants (he puckers his lips).

We named the alien Grayden, but we also call him Grady. He is the reason I’ve fallen off the face of the planet. I haven’t gone to any social functions – why? Well, first was for medical reasons stating I could not drive, but if you knew me you’d know that wouldn’t stop me for long. It has been because I’ve been so  tired I don’t trust myself to transport G, and because I’m breastfeeding I’ve been avoiding caffeine (because why give something that won’t sleep caffeine?!?). When he does sleep I get precious time to sleep or eat or shower – often only one. Get properly dressed with make-up and everything? That’s a dream.
However, as hard as it has been, and the extra weight I need to lose before August (Sis’ wedding), and the complete write-off of my social life, it is all worth it. I live for our cuddles in bed every morning after T leaves for work, and his smiles melt everything and anything that could at all be bothering me. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life watching him discover his.

So, as I get time and energy back to myself I’ll be updating more, believe me I’ve got PLENTY of stuff to share.