I didn’t return to work.
I planned for it,
had daycare lined up, had ‘back to work’ clothing for myself, backpacks packed
ready for the kids, and I didn’t go. There
is something unbelievably crappy about working in HR. Your immediate boss is
the HR Manager. When said HR manager finds out you were applying for employment
elsewhere (for say a shorter commute and more time with the kids) you don’t
have a leg to stand on – she’s already seen your cards.
So here I am – at home. The past two and a
half years have prepared me for this, but I was not prepared for this to be
full time. We didn’t plan financially for this. So now I learn to strictly
budget, and cut coupons, and price match. I ask questions like “Do we really
need that?” or “Can I sell this?”
Luckily things career-wise for T have sky
rocketed so we will manage. It is just going to be a lot of adjusting. I’m also
not set on staying home until G (September
2016) or both kids are in school. I’m sure I will have lost my mind by
then. So, for the right opportunity I’ll go back.
Now, that right opportunity. Luckily I am
in a position where I can decide when and where I will be happy working. I’ve
never had this luxury. In order to survive I have jumped at some pretty
horrible jobs. This new job will have to bring in a decent income to cover
daycare costs (18K/year) and make it worthwhile to be away from the kids. It is
hard to put a price tag on these first years with them.
Just by being ‘home’ for one official week
I now have my son potty-trained and I was able to witness my daughters first
steps and lap around our house. No amount of money right now would make these
moments worth missing.
Does this terrify me? Of course! I pride
myself in how independent I have been and am terrified to not be bringing in a
salary. So however temporary or long term this becomes that will always be in
the back of my head.
So I won’t be chained to a desk to compose
amazing blog posts. But I will have chilly fall nights with no yard work to be completed,
with little ones sleeping, and T working away on the opposite couch to pen my
thoughts. So bare with me, this is going to be one hell of a learning
experience.
