Friday, February 26, 2010

Dressing for Longevity

Dressing for longevity has never been my strong suit. When I didn’t have a penny to be spending on clothes I’d be spending it on all the latest trends, which meant very high turnover for my closet. I’ve spent years sucking in, pushing up, and cramming into things that amounted to endless hours of discomfort. Women have come so far, and yet we still feel the need to put style ahead of comfort – why do we do this?

I spend probably three out of the five working days in each week in these :




I’m not one of those office women who wear winter boots into work and then change once I get here either. I shoveled my entire driveway this morning in these boots. They have become comfortable, and not to mention do absolutely amazing things for my height, legs and ass – and I’ve only done a face plant due to them once. I think I feel more awkward now if I’m not wearing heels? Do we as women adapt to discomfort as the norm?

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for cute flats or running shoes, but with only two days out of the week to wear them my supply is pathetic for being a female. All my ‘fun’ clothes have been replaced with ‘work’ clothes. My ‘fun’ clothes are starting to age me as they never get updated. I’ve got a few pairs of jeans that are in the rotation – but are hoodies still in? Please all you young people who get to wear whatever you want every day help me out? Also is there a ‘bench’ brand age limit?

In my quest to stay young and dress for longevity I have decided I must purchase something leather – has it ever gone out of style? I definitely won’t be purchasing leather pants as I’m an overly warm person and I keep envisioning that episode of friends when Ross is stuck in his leather pants. I’m leaning towards a jacket as I'll get the most wear for the $$. I’ve cashed in my airmiles and have gotten $200 towards anything at Danier Leather. (http://www.danier.com/) So the question becomes what color? What style? As I wear black boots more than not, I’m thinking black is what it’s going to have to be, but if I can get a deal, I’ll get a brown one too (shhhh… don’t tell T).

Here are my thoughts - but haven’t actually tried any of them on yet:



Your thoughts?









I have one favorite sweater from Ricki’s (http://www.rickis.com/) that I bought 12 years ago that still exists in my closet (Imagine knit green sweater very fashionable around the ‘Felicity’ era of TV). I’ve grown out and back into it many times, but I can never get myself to rid of it. Does anyone else have an article of clothing that has been around this long? Or do I have more issues than originally thought?


Thursday, February 25, 2010

Create Your Own Sisterhood

Keno - is a lottery-like or bingo-like gambling game often played at modern casinos, and is also offered as a game in some state lotteries.(wiki). To most people. To me, she is my sister. This is the name I gave her when I was too young to pronounce her actual name.


I call her my ‘little’ sister, however in reality she is only 19 months younger than I am. This does not stop me from being beyond protective of her. You hurt her, I hurt you – and I don’t hurt anyone. In the 28+ years she’s been around I’ve only had to ‘step up’ twice. Once after a high school dance (at no fault of her own) I had to put the fear into a clueless twit who thought my sister was attempting to steal her boyfriend. The second time was to inform a boyfriend of hers that if he hurt her, I would back over him with my car. I think this could be why he left the province shortly after the break up?!

We haven’t always gotten along. The first major blow-up of our childhood (that I can remember), is the ‘Barbie fiasco’ – where I deemed myself to old to play with barbies. There was yelling, and crying, and then we didn’t talk for days – it was heart wrenching, but major growing up needed to be done. Another huge fight over clothing involved hair pulling and a lysol can – our only physical fight. For the years where we were forced to live together we fought daily.

Once I moved away for school we grew apart. Rarely talking to each other, and only seeing each other on holidays. We were too busy with our own lives to care what the other was up to. It was when she decided to go to school in the city where I was living, and moved a block away from me that we became close again. That was 6 years ago, and we’ve had one fight since, where the only other person in the house threatened to call our mother – like that would stop us!!!

She & I are two completely different people and the exact same person all at once. We don’t look alike (depending on who you talk to), our personalities are very different, and we often disagree with what the other is up to, but we share this connection that over powers it all. It’s a connection that allows us to roll our eyes at our mother without being caught, a connection that allows us to finish each other’s sentiences, and a connection that provides us with an instinct when something is wrong with the other sister. If you get us on the phone – you can’t tell which one of us you are talking to, but in person she is by far ‘girlier’ than I will ever be.

Let’s say you get married and 7 months later you get a call from your sister saying she needs a change. Would you consider finding her work and moving her in with you and your brand shiney new husband? Well I did, and a year later I wouldn’t take back one moment of it. Our best conversations now are had late at night at the kitchen table, or while grocery shopping together, or by e-mails throughout the day about what to have for dinner.

In the past year I’ve watched her completely change her life around, and I’m so happy and excited for her. With these changes comes the inevitable day where she’ll move out, and as much as I want to tie her to my house – who doesn’t love another set of hands in the kitchen, a million more pairs of shoes, and someone to watch ‘chick’ shows with? I’ll have to let her go.

I was supposed to create a ‘sisterhood’ with a large group of friends, and I have this, but when you have a real sister nothing else compares. When you can see and hear yourself in another person (and it’s not your mother or ‘the nana’ – phew!), you know there is a bond that no large group of women can compete with.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Embrace Your Inner Eight-Year-Old

I went into this weekend with a set of rules from my co-worker.

1. Don’t get hit by a bus

2. Don’t fall through any ice

3. Show up Monday with your A game.

You see, I work in HR and tomorrow is probably the single most stressful day of the year for us. Did we cause this ourselves? Kinda. We’re switching payroll software providers and tomorrow is the day we go ‘live’. This could essentially screw up hundreds of employee’s pay checks across Canada – so you know, no pressure. On top of this our deadline for having payroll complete is now 3 hours prior to what it used to be. If tomorrow doesn’t go well I could be hunted down and shot by hundreds of angry workers who didn’t receive pay am skipping the country.

Probably not a good weekend to embrace my inner 8 eight year old you're thinking....

I grew up in a very small town (population of 12,000) near the US border, and spent my holidays visiting my grandparents in the town of Kincardine along Lake Huron. The drive between the two places was roughly 3 hours along hwy 21. This weekend T & I decided to visit friends in Kincardine and drove the route I had years previously in the back seat of my parents car. Back came memories of listening to my dad’s Genesis tapes while starring out the window thinking about whatever boy I currently had a crush on, and being pissed that they were taking me so far away from him. I saw places where we used to stop and get gas, or eat, and even the park in Bayfield where my parents would kick us (my brother, sister & I) out of the car to burn some pent up energy because we were driving them crazy. I felt the sudden urge to play ‘straight up’ by Paula Abdul as this was the tape I had for my walkman when I got tired of listening to Genesis. Would T let me? No.

I know what you’re thinking - age 8 and thinking about boys? Please, by age 8 I had gotten married in the school yard and been kissed by my 'husband' on the cheek.

Once in Kincardine I could not resist playing on the ‘snow mountains’. Not so much mountains now that I’m bigger, but still a lot of fun when you’re not wearing appropriate foot wear to be climbing large hills of ice



How could you not want to play on these?

Next was on to the grocery store my grandma used to take us, to get ‘mix’ for drinks. Not my grandma getting mix when we were younger, we were…, ah you know what I mean. Well there I found:



EXACTLY the same as when I was a kid. So of course it had to be purchased, and now that I’m older it’s a complete rip off. The candy was hard and the toy was not a toy without having my 8 year old imagination.

We spent the night with friends drinking and playing cards and domino’s, almost exactly the same as when I was a kid, only I got to ‘taste’ the booze this time!

So now on Sunday night coming up to the most important, most stressful work day of the year I should revert back to an adult and prepare for tomorrow right? Wrong. I’m not done being an 8 year old. I’ve been playing video games, painted my toenails, and poured myself two rather large rye & cokes. Screw being responsible! Canada is playing the US in Olympic hockey tonight and to me that is WAY more important than growing up.

Monday at 3pm is due or die time. Maybe I should have come up with my ‘Plan B’ before embarking on this weekend? Or maybe this blog will come to you from Mexico come Tuesday??!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The list re-visited

OK, so some of the items are really easy and who other than moi doesn't love a challenge? So here are the revisions:
Coming off the list are #'s 6, 8, 39, 44, 46, 78 & 96 for reasons given previously.

Also coming off is #53 - 'walk in heels' as it was pointed out that I do this daily. I could leave it on, and attempt to walk say 10 km's in heels but it would turn into a very ugly situation. One km in I'd be fine, after two I'd have a limp, and after three I would be beating you with them - SO not a good and/or safe situation for anyone.


The replacements are:


1. Ice Fishing - I HATE the cold. I hate all things involving doing things outside while it is cold. I even hate fish. Actually I'm scared of fish - but only if I'm swimming in open water and there's a chance of their tiny, slimy, wiggling bodies touching me. If you ever want to see a great impression of jesus walking on water swing by lake huron in late summer and just wait for it. In most cases it's probably just seaweed, but I still put on a good show.


2. Complete a half marathon - I've been thinking about doing this since the fall. Time to stop thinking and do. Only you guessed it - I'm a fair-weather marathon participant. As I do not like the cold, I also do not like the heat. So this will have to take place in the spring/fall, and if I had it my way, it would take place on my treadmill in a climate controlled room in pyjama pants and a sports bra, singing at the top of my lungs. I'm currently up to 6km's about 5 times/week. For those of you who'd like to attempt this - let me know! I'm not picky on city/charity etc, I just want to say I've done it. I will of course dress appropriately.


3. Re-connect with a lost friend - Here's the story. A few years back I get a job, meet an amazing co-worker who keeps me sane for 2 years. The two of us are inseparable. A million inside jokes are created. I leave the company, but still we talk every day numerous times by e-mail if not by phone. I get married and she's in the wedding party, she goes through a bit of a rough spot in life, and I make several (more than I should have - but that's beside the point) attempts to cheer her up. T (=husband), & I buy a house, and I mention wanting to show it to her, and I get a snippy remark via e-mail and ever since there has been no communication. That was 3 months ago and I miss her deeply. She was closer to me than my sister is at times and every time I recall the situation my heart sinks. Time to shut down the stubbornness and re-connect.


4. Get a manicure/pedicure - I've done this once in my life for my wedding. I've never really been a girly-girl. It might stem from the fact that my father wanted me to be a boy and I wore baseball caps, played sports, and had tonka trucks until my sister had grown up enough to play with girl toys - but that's a story for another day. I am also not a fan of being touched (this also stems from childhood - please click on a google add to your right to fund my therapy :) ). Want proof - here you go:

Yes, even at age 3 I could kick your ass!!! (Thanks mom for the bowl cut bangs they were all the rage).

5. Admit my guilty pleasures - Sure some of you see me every day, but what goes on when I'm not around will astound you. A day in life of j9 is not boring to say the least and there are some things that you don't know about for embarrassing reasons. These I will share and then crawl under a rock and die embrace them!

6. Be seen in public wearing a bikini - This hasn't happened in YEARS folks. I'm talking Bush (the first Bush) was president, perms were popular, and Alf was probably quality prime time tv. I'm not going to wuss out either and hang out in my relatives back yard - Nope, I'm talking PUBLIC beach and string bikini. I'm hoping the training for the 1/2 marathon will help out my situation, but even if it does, I'm the palest second palest person you'll ever meet. I'm whiter than people who are allergic to the sun. Again, live near lake huron? Go there and wait......

7. Own & write off my "what if's" - I live by the motto 'I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do'. That's from the classic movie 'Empire Records' for those of you who are fans. Well it's time to list the "what if's" from my life and deem them better not done.

8. Make friends with the neighbours - We just moved in November, and winter in Ontario is cold and snowy. Plus you all know how I feel about the cold so I haven't really ventured out to meet anyone. Everyone in this neighbourhood is much older than we are - they have kids, or their kids already have kids. So this one might be hard, but on the bright side the kids might make for some good lawn boys :) The house across the street just went up for sale so keep your fingers crossed for some young people!

So there are the adjustments. Yikes. Did I mention 464 days and counting???



Sunday, February 14, 2010

The List

Here it is in all it's glory (from Swim Naked, Defy Gravity & 99 Other Essential Things to Accomplish Before Turning 30 by Colleen Rush) - with a few side notes of changes I may need to make:

1. Swim Naked
2. Break all of your parents' arbitrary rules
3. Grow something
4. Dump toxic friends
5. Speak a foreign language
6. Buy a kick-ass mattress - The husband has already done this, and being a king size mattress if I go out and spend $$ again, he'll kill me!
7. Draw & frame a self-portrait
8. Stop chronic over-apologizing - If there's one thing to know about me it's that I'm stubborn, and I rarely apologize, so this is N/A!
9. Create your own sisterhood
10. Travel solo
11. Develop a plan B.
12. Know your friends' family tree
13. Embrace your inner eight-year-old
14. Read: Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Christine Northrup M.D
15. Build a raging campfire
16. Make the first move
17. Know the other mouth-to-mouth
18. Be your own muse
19. Master a signature family recipe
20. Quit something
21. Find the perfect red lipstick
22. Negotiate for something expensive
23. Google yourself
24. Hold your booze
25. Track down your best friend from kindergarten
26. Masturbate
27. Write a complaint letter
28. Claim your granny panties
29. Make brownies from scratch
30. Exorcise the words "like" and "you know" from your vocabulary
31. Find your religion
32. Write thank-you notes for everything
33. Perfect your A.M. Stretch
34. Declare your birthday a national holiday
35. Stock an emergency disaster kit
36. Accept compliments
37. Minimize pointless drama
38. Unplug your TV for a while
39. Dye your hair an Outrageous color - due to my type of employment I can not do this :(
40. Invest in seriously frivolous undies
41. Own your mistakes
42. Take your hobby more seriously than your job
43. Talk to strangers
44. Get health insurance - living in Canada I've already got health insurance and life/car/house insurance too!
45. Hook something high tech up by yourself
46. Live through a blind date - Don't think the husband will allow this! So..N/A
47. Be a gracious guest
48. Escape creeps and kick criminal ass
49. Invest in earplugs
50. Lose your virginity again
51. Know your blood type
52. Confront someone who's done you wrong
53. Walk in heels
54. Write a body manifesto
55. Watch the sun rise and set on the same day by yourself
56. Disagree out loud
57. Memorize your ring size
58. Have a mantra
59. Research your family's medical history
60. Do it somewhere risky
61. Open a bottle of champagne
62. Make more money than you spend
63. Be a nudist for a day
64. Adopt an awkward teenager
65. Eat soy
66. Dress for longevity
67. Kick one habit
68. Defy gravity
69. Own a cashmere sweater
70. Use a great dermo
71. Get over yourself
72. Sleep in a hammock
73. Own a toolbox with all of the basics
74. Jettison your 'skinny' jeans
75. Collect correspondence with friends
76. Get a massage
77. Memorize your favorite smells. Surround yourself with them
78. Fall in love (or lust) without blowing off your friends - Already done! N/A
79. Dub the "greatest hits" from your childhood
80. Care about where your food comes from
81. Fly first class
82. Cultivate your own style
83. Carry something to read, a notebook, and a pen at all times
84. Forgive your parents
85. Be a dork
86. Stop slamming other women
87. Get waxed down there
88. Adopt another motherland
89. Tell someone your deepest darkest secret
90. Make a killer cocktail
91. Read your old diaries
92. Tie a few knots
93. Have your fortune told
94. Cry often
95. Give yourself flowers
96. Stop looking for a soul mate - I stopped looking September 22nd, 2005! Awwww.puke. I'm not corny like that at all.
97. Give props to a teacher
98. Learn how not to be a flake
99. Give yourself a make-under
100. Be notorious for something
101. Bounce back

So there are 7 tasks I can not accomplish - any suggestions for replacements???

These will also be completed in random order as life permits, but with only 466 days to go I better get started!!!

So....

Hello!



I've thought about doing this for a LONG time, and then backed that thought up with the excuses of having no time or lack of interesting things to write about.



While sitting at a John Mayer concert last night I had an epiphany. Crazy right? I was attempting to remember how long it had been since I had last seen him in concert and came up with 6 years - or negative one career, one house, one marriage, and several youthful amazing moments ago. I came to the quick realization that 'oh my god I'm going to be 30 really, REALLY soon'.



Am I ok with this? No. Do I feel grown up? No - but then again I don't want to either.



I thought the twenties were about self discovery and getting somewhere in life, and that you are supposed to come out the other end of it complete and with self worth? Well I'm too damn close to the other side and I'm still completely out to lunch on life - so I've decided to embark on a journey.



From this day on I have exactly 466 days until I'm forced to be thirty-something, and I plan to go down kicking and screaming and tossing massive fits of denial. But - I also plan to get the most twenty-something has to offer. So here's the plan:



1. Purchase the book 'Swim Naked, Defy Gravity & 99 Other Essential Things to Accomplish Before Turning 30 - a check list. Written by Colleen Rush, published by Penguin books. CHECK.



2. Review List & determine if possible. CHECK. (see next post)



3. Notify husband of adventure at hand and have him determine I'm batshit crazy. CHECK.



4. Learn how to, and create a blog. CHECK.



So here it goes.....feel free to join me, offer advice, share stories, etc. This is going to be one hell of a ride!!!