Kindergarten

I feel like I'm starting over.

To help with doing what I love to do - write, I decided to get a MacBook Air. The size, weight, keyboard I am in love with. The learning curve of switching from a PC I am finding difficult. This new 'baby' has all kinds of cool features I have yet to discover, if I ever have time to discover them! I almost wish I had made the switch years ago when I had the time to dedicate to it.

In another life I am currently sitting in a Starbucks looking super trendy typing this. I probably am wearing a very stylish outfit, my hair & make up are done, and I'm sipping a 500 calorie latte because I get to the gym regularly so the calories don't count. Instead I'm in lulu's, a nursing tank, my hair & make up are actually done - only because I attended a birthday party for G's girlfriend today. YES, he's 2 (well almost!). How the F do I almost have a 2 year old? Where did that time go? But back to computer issues....

One major software program I have not yet acquired is Microsoft Office for Mac. I'm working on it, but for the time being I am lost without being able to have my blog drafts in word tucked into nice folders, and of course my endless excel spreadsheets. Hopefully soon I can fix that. I feel unorganized and that gives me heart palpitations.

I'm also not loving the current design of the blog. I'll work on that too. Time. I just need time.

I have ideas and pictures saved for future blog posts, so stay tuned. I'm creating these days, just at a turtle's pace.

If you build it...

It will help inspire all creativity and magically produce extra minutes in the day where I can sit and write, write, write. Wrong.

Here is the desk post. The post about the dream of having my own space in my house that will be clutter free and kid free and that will hold all my precious possessions that I don't want to get lost in the chaos. 

I scoured the internet looking for THE desk. The desk that I would turn into all of the things above, and that hopefully didn't come with a hefty price tag as I would be spending a fortune on all things required to makeover said desk. 

The inspiration for the desk came from an old desk at the cottage. It has sat under the stairs always and originally was given to my grandparents as a gift from my grandfathers parents. I love its 'bones'. I love how the wood smells and the design that no longer exists with desks being made now. As much as I'd love to turn that desk into my new love, I learned long ago to let family heirlooms remain in their original state. Long story for another day. 

I happend to come across this desk and for $80 it became mine, ALL mine.

Inside the desk all I found was $100 in Monopoly money. It made me love the desk even more.

 Under the desk I found the original tag. It provided me with the the manufacturer of the desk so I could do some research. I discovered Krug Bros Co Ltd. Turns out they are very local to the cottage where my inspiration for this desk began. The last family member Bruce passed away this year ending the line of brothers who ran the family business. For this reason, I have named my desk Bruce.

I spent many many hours sanding with my mouse sander and with my hands for detailing. I made one small adjustment switching out the original handle in the middle drawer to a glass knob. That required wood filler and drilling a new hole. I then put two coats of primer and two coats of paint on the desk. I put two coats of ebony stain on the desktop and two coats of sealer. For the existing hardware I spray painted them with a rust-oleum glossy spray. I also decided to line the drawers to create character where it wouldn't be expected. And finally.......

I love it. 

Bruce and I haven't had a lot of time together as I'd wished, but one day. I know he will wait patiently. 

I enjoyed every minute out in the garage working with my hands. Might be because it was a new challenge? Might be because I was getting in some 'me' time? Either way I'd do it again in a heart beat. There were endless challenges with Bruce - he was not entirely solid wood, the curved drawer had warped and didn't function properly, it took forever waiting in-between applying coats etc. He was worth it in the end. He is in no way perfect, and being my largest critic I see the flaws, but I see them as new found character to an old desk. 

Next up a rocking chair for A. It was mine as a kid and I don't love it currently. The detailing on it terrifies me, but she'll cherish it forever, so I'll sand away. 

Who has time for that?!

Here I am! 3 months and an extra kid later, I feel as if I've been hit by a bus. Most days I just focus on remembering which way is up. So Alas not much interesting going on.

Oh WAIT. There are a few things. 

Miss A arrived on July 30th. She is going to cost me a small fortune in all things girl. As soon as she can walk and grows some hair my pay check will disappear to shoes and bows and ribbons. She is stubborn like me, and G calls her 'baby girl' in the most adorable way ever. 

G is a parrot. In the way that he repeats ALL.THE.THINGS. Today in my furry over an old person parking in the 'families with small children' spot at Walmart on our hunt for Finding Nemo I called the person old & blind. Don't you know G called the cashier old & blind! 

Yup folks, that is what my life has become. Instead of hunting for designer hand bags and amazing trips, I go on searches for children's movies. I swore I would never be that parent that put DVD players in their vehicles and not only did I get one DVD player, I got 2! Only fair that a 2 month old has her own right? Actually, I was thinking forward and knowing that the option of two that connect would be ideal. So parents that have 2 kids - look into these - they are amazing. I want to sit in the back seat on all trips now.

I am still neurotic about getting all Christmas shopping done ahead of time. I currently have both kids completely finished & G's birthday done too. I started shopping in June. I am an expert online shopper now. My new favorite website to oggle and sometimes buy stuff for me is http://jane.com/ I apologize now for your new addiction. 

I have been cooking up all my Pinterest Pins! There will be a blog with reviews on that coming soon (ok, the next time I can get both kids to nap at the same time for an extended period of time, where I also do not require a nap).

And I am on the hunt for a desk that I'll hopefully refurnish. I have a dream of this desk, and I believe that if I have a pretty desk the writing will come. Now, if only I could find the time to search for this old desk......

Dr. Seuss Crazy

Hello again.

With baby #2 about to make its arrival I have gone into the ‘must get ALL the things done’ mode. One major to-do I needed crossed off my list was for G’s ‘big boy’ room to be complete.

When we moved into this house about 4 years ago I envisioned a Dr. Seuss kids room and when re-painting rooms painted the room orange knowing I had plans for it in the future – everyone else thought I was crazy.

Normally at this stage a pregnant person would be consumed with making sure the nursery was complete and ready for the baby to come home – but I’m now an expert and know the kid will not sleep in that room for the first few months so I’m doing things differently. G’s room is the most important.

I started with Dr. Seuss stuffed animals and books from Kohl’s I have been collecting over the years. Next came a custom duvet, pillow cases, and curtains made by my mom and the room has come together from there.

A pin on Pinterest showed me how to make the Truffula from The Lorax for cheap. G loves those.

G loves to read, and to limit the chances of him crawling out of bed after we put him in, books are his only ‘toy’ in his room. My mom scored a 5 ft Cat in the hat cut out and some books for under $2. From that cut out I found the ‘red fish blue fish’ fish, and the ‘where to’ sign from a local store geared to teachers.

 I bought a $5 saying off of Amazon.com and added a clothes line for G’s art (also Pinterest idea), and even put up his name in wooden letters I had painted over a year ago and didn't know what to do with.

I am not sure how long G will love Dr. Seuss? But I hope he loves his fun big boy room for at least a few years as I had a lot of fun putting it all together. 

Pinterest WIN.

While off on maternity leave I deemed my bedside tables too small for the amount of stuff needing to go on them. Think lamp, clock, monitor, home phone, cell phone, kindle, and random things such as a glass of water, soothers, and raisins (pregnant people are hungry ALL hours). I longed for more table top space as well as a drawer.

I liked the fact that current tables were black and round as all other furniture in the room seemed square and brown. So the hunt began for black round bedside tables. They were easy to find if I wanted to spend a small fortune on one, but alas I am small fortune-less.

I remembered on a CityLine episode once seeing a usedfurniture liquidation place that had all kinds of things in bulk from hotels and thinking ahead I had bookmarked the site. And voila!! The tables I had dreamed of – only the wrong color.

I also remembered seeing a Pinterest pin about having a power bar actually in the drawer – GENIUS!! I could plug in my cell and kindle and charge them over night without a million cords exposed that G can pull.

My main problem was painting. I am not supposed to be painting while pregnant and all. Brother in law with a shop to the rescue. He painted the tables black and put on the new knobs I bought and I finally have the tables I originally envisioned.

(Drilling the hole in the back for the extension cord was a nightmare, due to lack of experience and proper tools)

So cost-wise: 2 tables $130 for both taxes in, however also the gas to get to Oakville & back – but we also made an Ikea trip out of it. New knobs $10. Sanding & painting $130. So $270, I can’t complain, I love them. 

When bad things happen to good people.

I have this really good friend A. A is much older then me (as a few of my friends are), but that doesn't stop us from seeing movies, shopping, and having lunches together. I met A because when I started at my current job she started 3 days later, so we were the “new” people.

 Within a year our mutual love of cross border shopping was discovered and we planned a weekend trip away. After many rye & cokes, and chocolate martini’s things “that will never be shared at work” were discussed and our friendship became stronger.

When dropping her off from that weekend away in her small town outside the city I was currently living in, I decided I needed to live there too. The neighborhoods were gorgeous and it was within a commute to work. It was the exact place I envisioned raising a family. I drove home and immediately went online to find a house –we bought & moved within 2 months of that trip.

So now A & I live within walking distance to each other – we cross border shop, golf, go for coffee, car pool, and I often ‘cat sit’ while she and her husband travel.

About 3 weeks ago I received a text from A saying she was in having a mammogram before heading out on vacation for a week and how she hated waiting. The next text came in saying it wasn't good news and she was being sent for an ultrasound, and then another text sending her for a biopsy – all in one afternoon.

A has been diagnosed with stage 3 invasive breast cancer. In the 2 weeks since the initial mammogram she has had an MRI, a more invasive biopsy, and is scheduled for a PET scan and a CT scan. She meets with her surgeon next week to decide their approach. Her brain and liver need to be check for cancer as they have already found small spots on her sternum. All of this in within 2 weeks following the routine mammogram you have once you turn 50.

I am beside myself.

I feel like I don’t know what to do or say. I tend to approach sadness with humor,  and I don’t know if that helps? I've surprised her with flowers and listened when she needed to vent, and provided all the benefit info (I work in HR) as requested. I've made it a point to ‘check in’ with her more regularly and have kept a ‘You got this' approach.

What I didn't know last October when I ran the ‘run for the cure’ was that I was running for A. Ironically she was one of my biggest sponsors. This year the run/walk is on October 6^th. I have told A that she needs to fight this battle and be in good walking condition for that day. I will gather the largest team I can and we will walk the 5k together.  

Luckily she is the strongest woman I know, so I have no doubt she can do this. I just hope I am strong enough to support her. I’ll leave my outbursts of crying for when I am in the car alone.

If anyone has any suggestions for anything I could be doing – please message me.

Stabby, stab, stab.

When I sign into the software program I use at work 99% of the time I see these faces:

And I want to off myself. They all qualify for 'O faces gone wrong'. 

And people wonder why I'm so grumpy..... 

People who need to disappear.

On my way into work this morning a radio DJ was going on about celebrity gossip and it prompted this list of people who I think just need to go away. Like permanently.

1.       Kristen Stewart. While I have never actually seen her act in anything I find her social appearances brutal. We all get that you are miserable 99.8% of your life – why flaunt it around Hollywood? I assume she’d be much happier in a dark basement listening to grunge and ripping apart voo doo dolls of RPatz because his career has a chance of taking off while hers will head straight to the gutter. Do I blame her for cheating on him? No. I couldn't look at that face every day either.

2.       Donald Trump. Do I even need to explain? By this point everyone should be familiar with this idiot. Just because he has (or thinks he has money) and has a big mouth he thinks he can spout off about anyone anywhere and people will actually value his opinion. I’d maybe take him a little more seriously if with all that money he has he bought himself a hair piece that didn't resemble that of a skinned squirrel.Oh, and if he didn't make a complete asshat of himself with the Barack Obama birth certificate ordeal.

3.       Ke$ha. Get some talent and try again, or don’t.

4.       Justin Bieber. I am tired of hearing about all the shit he is causing now that he is of age and acting like the spoiled kid he always has been – minus the booze, as pot was enough up until now. Seriously, Bieber if you are going to do it up and spiral your career into the shitter go out Brittany Spears style as I haven’t seen a good train wreck recently. Also, on your way out do me a favor and grab the two other Canadians that drive me nuts – Avril Lavigne and Celine Dion.

5.       Richard Simmons. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE gay people. Just not this one. They have been advertising some charity event on the radio here for exercise where Richard Simmons will be making an appearance. I’m all for charity, but you would have to pay me large sums of money to be anywhere within earshot of Richard Simmons. Something about his voice and the fact his wardrobe is stuck in the 80’s just annoys the hell out of me. I guarantee that charity would quadruple their donations by offering the highest fundraiser a Richard Simmons throat punch.

There is my current short list. This will change in 5 minutes, if not sooner. 

Fork in the road

I've decided to go in a new direction. A new kind of more of myself kind of direction. One that rants and rambles and forces my opinions on you. I’ll just tell it like it is – for me anyway. I came to the realization that I wasn't “into” my blog anymore because I always felt like I had to filter in case some relative somewhere became offended that I swear. Now, I just don’t care. Don’t read it, problem solved.

I don’t tweet. My posts could all end up being a little less crazy if I’d just tweet out some of these thoughts, but who really needs to know these things?! Oh right, you guys. If I tweeted nothing else in my life would get done ever as I’d have to over share everything. Like the fact that I just shaved enough hair off my body to knit a nice pair of slippers for an Alaskan child. Why Alaska? Only cold place I could think of off the top of my head. I don’t actually own slippers, I’m saving that for old age. I also don't think Alaska is a poor state, so they probably don't need free slippers. See, you needed to know that.

There will be more about T now – because he is crazy. It hasn't been determined which one of us makes the other crazier, but truth is we are our own reality show. Shit happens to us that just doesn't make sense. I won’t tell him I’m logging our craziness or you will see the launch of another blog telling of his side of the craziness. Currently he has no time for that as he’s creating a ‘Phaneuf Sucks’ YouTube channel with clips and audio commentary and all. You know because Phaneuf is currently the cause of why the Leafs are not going win the cup this year.

I’m still a mom who is clueless as to what she is doing all of the time, but am finding humor in it all. You have to or it destroys you! I’m also a daughter, sister, friend, co-worker…..you get the point.

So from now on I’ll share shit with you. In real life, real terms, no holds bars. Run screaming if you want, no offense taken.

To know or not to know

As some of you may not know (since I haven’t exactly screamed it at the world) T & I decided to expand our reality show family by one last and final member. After having G I always knew he needed a friend and wanted them to be close in age. Also kind of selfishly I wanted this stage of my life over. If I get too far away from the sleepless nights and diapers I will never want to go back.

So the newest member of our team will be arriving in early August. G will be 19 months old. Yes, this means I was pregnant before I actually stepped foot back into work after a year + off for maternity leave. I am pretty 100% sure my boss didn't want to hear I’d be going off on leave again 5 minutes after I walked through the doors. Oh well, in 20 years I’ll have 2 kids close together in age who are hopefully best friends.

So here is my recent dilemma. Do I find out if the newest member is a boy or girl?

This was a simple decision with G. He was our first and I wanted all things gender neutral so I could use them again with a second child. I also thought I’d need the surprise at the end to get me through labor. This time we have everything gender neutral, and there will be no labor (repeat c-section).  I know I will not be the first to hold the baby and will be heavily medicated so I kind of want to know.

T (even when he promised not to) is again being difficult when it comes to naming this child. If a boy this child has a good shot of being nameless as T likes nothing, or what he does like is ridiculous and when anyone hears his suggestions they think he is joking. I am tired of it. A girl would put an end to the never ending debate.

However, a girl scares the crap out of me. I know what to do with boys now. I know how much energy they have and how easy they are to dress and keep entertained. I’m terrified that with a girl I’d go broke in clothing, accessories and girl toys alone. With another boy we already have the clothes and the toys and a big brother here to pick on him.

At a recent mommy outing I witnessed a little girl throw a temper tantrum of epic proportions and she is only a year old. She had something taken away from her and in the middle of a shoe store she went limp, fell forward  face down on the floor, kicking and screaming. Her father told me to just ignore her. She eventually rolled over and started laughing – but still. I’d lose my mind. I don’t think I can handle the drama that comes along with little girls.

So, both T and my mother do not want me to find out as they like guessing and the suspense. However, it is not like I’m having another shower and most people’s reactions have been “are you certifiably nuts?” Would it be absolutely horrible if I found out and told no one? I mean, if it is indeed another boy, I do kind of need to come to terms with forever being outnumbered in my house and the acceptance that I will own nothing nice or breakable for a very long time. But oh,….think of the weekends where I can send the boys out into the woods camping, or to sport events?.....

So I have 11 days to decide to know or not know…….

Valentine’s Day Fail

Apparently having a one year old in daycare requires a parenting guide book as I have no clue what Valentine’s Day etiquette requires of me. Nor, did I expect my child to come home with any valentine’s.

Yesterday I reached into G’s bag to reveal a valentine from a boy named Ethan. I cried of course. G’s very first valentine! I do not know who Ethan is, but I knew right then that if I showed up empty handed today that I would forever feel guilty about not giving Ethan back a valentine.

Now G’s daycare is an in-home daycare where I think there is maybe 3 or 4 full time kids with a few that come before and after school. As I drop G off so early in the morning I never see the other kids and well T isn't really attentive when it comes to paying attention when he picks him up, so I had no clue what age kids I needed to send valentine’s to?

My first thought was just cards – but G is too young to personalize them so not creative enough. My second thought was helium balloons – some argue not safe & there was no way I was finding them on such short notice in my small town. So I asked my mom group (a group of about 160 ladies with kids all the same age as G). The solution came quick – fish valentine’s day cards and gold fish crackers.

Off I went to the grocery store at 7:30pm in search of what I needed. They had gold fish crackers, but no such luck on fish valentines, so off I went to the craft department. Do you think I could even find fish stickers?

Here is what I came up with. I spent the night cutting, gluing, sticking, taping…..

I now have a yearly reminder in my phone on February 1^st to remind me to get a list of names and to start the valentines WAY in advance.

Poor T, all he got was a chocolate bar with a bubble guppie’s sticker on it in his car!

The Donicamoon

Remember waaaaayyyy back when. When one of my favourite people and I were not speaking and it felt horrible. Well given time and a few emails things got back to normal and for once in my life (due to her crap luck) I got lucky and she came to work in the city for the summer.

This is another reason you were hearing crickets around here. Every spare second I could get I was spending on my Donicamoon.

We did all of our favorites – Shopping, Ikea trip, eating at a favorite restaurant, dinners and visits at all the beautiful houses she house sits, and of course going to an independent theater to watch film festival movies. Her love of artsy movies I can not find in anyone else. She came to my house, met G, and made fun of T. It was like old times.

If you are artsy there are two films (now available everywhere) I suggest:

1.       Your sister’s sister

2.       Take this waltz (beware of so long it is uncomfortable period of nudity)

The only thing that kept us apart (which felt like there was something constantly) was her work, G, other social activities for both of us.

Then came the bad news (for me anyway). She was being given back her old job at a University eight hours away beginning with the school year. The days became numbered and I was torn as this is the exact same time my sister was getting married. I couldn't be two places at once.

And just like that she was gone. I looked up the price of flights to visit, tried to come up with some time some how I could make the trip and it still hasn't happened and doesn't look like it will.

Time just continues to pass and we exchange emails and pictures and movie and book suggestions but it is just not the same. 

Oh what I would do for another Donicamoon....I'd add more minutes to the day, and try to eliminate more so we could do more. Life is too short to have a friend that lives so far away.

What a year has taught me

When a new life enters the world your world revolves around theirs. Everything that was important seems stupid and your priorities change real quick.

I never thought I was cut out to be a parent. Kids annoyed the crap out of me (I blame my parents partly for this for pimping me out to babysit every kid within a 2 kilometer area of our house). I loved to read, write, travel, shop & sleep and couldn't imagine life without time for all of those things. So here is how the first year has turned out:

Reading: I went from probably close to 20 books a year to maybe 5. I still get to read the Saturday edition of the paper as long as I don’t mind the paper being ripped from my hands and destroyed unless you wait for a nap to read said paper. I also get Chatelaine delivered once monthly and have made it my mission to take a bath behind a locked door to read it. So yes I can read – it is just scheduled.

Writing: I feel I've failed you here. By the time the house is quiet enough for me to sit and put thoughts on paper my eyes won’t stay open. If I try while G is awake he pulls on the laptop – there are a million tiny finger prints on my screen. I also didn't want to become one of those people who just talk about their kid. But, that is ALL that my life has been – so didn't want to bore you. I’m back to work next week, maybe I’ll find some free time there?

Travel: We attempted two trips – one with children and one without. The one with children was not a vacation; it was basically doing all the stuff you do at home somewhere else. We had to schedule around naps and feedings etc and in my opinion not worth it when the kid is this young if you like to explore. On the other hand the trip without the kid was fun, but we were always wondering about his well being, and not wanting to adjust to the time difference as it would screw us when we got home. It was easier to explore, but my heart was at home.

Shop: I've become the best online shopper around. I found that as much fun as pushing a stroller around aisle of clothing while little hands are grabbing is a good time. It is much easier to point and click and walk to the mailbox. Amazon (.com) is the best place hands down to find pretty much everything (except clothes). If I lived in the US I’d sign up to their prime option and save, save, save!

Sleep: Not the first few, oh say ten months. I mean sure you can nap when the kid naps – but get a solid 8-10 hours of sleep is not possible. We went through hour and a half stretches, to three hours, to five hours, and seven, and now after a year I got twelve and a half last night. The trick is to go to bed when the kid goes to bed, but you don’t want to. You want to watch TV  and read, and shop. You want you time. So you take from your sleep time to be yourself. It sucks. And only when it gets good (In Canada) off you go back to work.

After all of this I can tell you it is worth it. Yes, I had to change all the things that I love, but I love him more. I still however find other peoples kids to be annoying at times. I would now do anything for this kid because watching him play and learn and even sleep is more important than anything I thought ever was.