When bad things happen to good people.

I have this really good friend A. A is much older then me (as a few of my friends are), but that doesn't stop us from seeing movies, shopping, and having lunches together. I met A because when I started at my current job she started 3 days later, so we were the “new” people.

 Within a year our mutual love of cross border shopping was discovered and we planned a weekend trip away. After many rye & cokes, and chocolate martini’s things “that will never be shared at work” were discussed and our friendship became stronger.

When dropping her off from that weekend away in her small town outside the city I was currently living in, I decided I needed to live there too. The neighborhoods were gorgeous and it was within a commute to work. It was the exact place I envisioned raising a family. I drove home and immediately went online to find a house –we bought & moved within 2 months of that trip.

So now A & I live within walking distance to each other – we cross border shop, golf, go for coffee, car pool, and I often ‘cat sit’ while she and her husband travel.

About 3 weeks ago I received a text from A saying she was in having a mammogram before heading out on vacation for a week and how she hated waiting. The next text came in saying it wasn't good news and she was being sent for an ultrasound, and then another text sending her for a biopsy – all in one afternoon.

A has been diagnosed with stage 3 invasive breast cancer. In the 2 weeks since the initial mammogram she has had an MRI, a more invasive biopsy, and is scheduled for a PET scan and a CT scan. She meets with her surgeon next week to decide their approach. Her brain and liver need to be check for cancer as they have already found small spots on her sternum. All of this in within 2 weeks following the routine mammogram you have once you turn 50.

I am beside myself.

I feel like I don’t know what to do or say. I tend to approach sadness with humor,  and I don’t know if that helps? I've surprised her with flowers and listened when she needed to vent, and provided all the benefit info (I work in HR) as requested. I've made it a point to ‘check in’ with her more regularly and have kept a ‘You got this' approach.

What I didn't know last October when I ran the ‘run for the cure’ was that I was running for A. Ironically she was one of my biggest sponsors. This year the run/walk is on October 6^th. I have told A that she needs to fight this battle and be in good walking condition for that day. I will gather the largest team I can and we will walk the 5k together.  

Luckily she is the strongest woman I know, so I have no doubt she can do this. I just hope I am strong enough to support her. I’ll leave my outbursts of crying for when I am in the car alone.

If anyone has any suggestions for anything I could be doing – please message me.