To know or not to know

As some of you may not know (since I haven’t exactly screamed it at the world) T & I decided to expand our reality show family by one last and final member. After having G I always knew he needed a friend and wanted them to be close in age. Also kind of selfishly I wanted this stage of my life over. If I get too far away from the sleepless nights and diapers I will never want to go back.

So the newest member of our team will be arriving in early August. G will be 19 months old. Yes, this means I was pregnant before I actually stepped foot back into work after a year + off for maternity leave. I am pretty 100% sure my boss didn't want to hear I’d be going off on leave again 5 minutes after I walked through the doors. Oh well, in 20 years I’ll have 2 kids close together in age who are hopefully best friends.

So here is my recent dilemma. Do I find out if the newest member is a boy or girl?

This was a simple decision with G. He was our first and I wanted all things gender neutral so I could use them again with a second child. I also thought I’d need the surprise at the end to get me through labor. This time we have everything gender neutral, and there will be no labor (repeat c-section).  I know I will not be the first to hold the baby and will be heavily medicated so I kind of want to know.

T (even when he promised not to) is again being difficult when it comes to naming this child. If a boy this child has a good shot of being nameless as T likes nothing, or what he does like is ridiculous and when anyone hears his suggestions they think he is joking. I am tired of it. A girl would put an end to the never ending debate.

However, a girl scares the crap out of me. I know what to do with boys now. I know how much energy they have and how easy they are to dress and keep entertained. I’m terrified that with a girl I’d go broke in clothing, accessories and girl toys alone. With another boy we already have the clothes and the toys and a big brother here to pick on him.

At a recent mommy outing I witnessed a little girl throw a temper tantrum of epic proportions and she is only a year old. She had something taken away from her and in the middle of a shoe store she went limp, fell forward  face down on the floor, kicking and screaming. Her father told me to just ignore her. She eventually rolled over and started laughing – but still. I’d lose my mind. I don’t think I can handle the drama that comes along with little girls.

So, both T and my mother do not want me to find out as they like guessing and the suspense. However, it is not like I’m having another shower and most people’s reactions have been “are you certifiably nuts?” Would it be absolutely horrible if I found out and told no one? I mean, if it is indeed another boy, I do kind of need to come to terms with forever being outnumbered in my house and the acceptance that I will own nothing nice or breakable for a very long time. But oh,….think of the weekends where I can send the boys out into the woods camping, or to sport events?.....

So I have 11 days to decide to know or not know…….