Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Alien Landing


Remember way back when, when I told you I was making some major decisions that would be updated later. Well, call it hell freezing over, my age 30 freak the F out, or just pure insanity, but T and I decided reproducing would be a good idea. You’re thinking we were drunk at the time because that would make more sense? Nope, we had many, many, many sober conversations.

I decided that as our lives progressed I’d like a new job and a baby in whatever order they decided to come in and well the baby came first, and the job is another to be updated on later subject. But no, I will not be a stay at home mother.

And just so you know I’m not going to go all sentimental baby crap on you. I’m not like that. I actually dislike pretty much everything that is too babyish cutesy. I’ll never be that person in Babies R Us going ‘awwww’ or ‘oohhhhh’, I’ll be going “does it serve a purpose? Will it make the baby stop crying or sleep? And how much space is that going to take up in my house?”

Being pregnant has been pretty easy on me. I never experienced morning sickness, or many food aversions, and I’d often forget I was pregnant. So far all I’ve experienced is sleepiness after midnight, an increased appetite, and some pretty intense cravings lately. Also, if you talk to T, he’ll tell you I’ve been a little lot on the emotional side lately. Any patience I did have is gone and I’m starting to have to wear fatty clothes. I call them that because I have yet to find anything that I would normally buy to wear if I wasn’t pregnant. Maternity fashion does not exist.

The baby from here on out will be referred to as ‘The Alien’. Did you ever see the movie 'Men in Black' where the human-like person was controlled by the little alien inside? That’s me. We are not finding out the gender because if I’m going through medicated hell at the end of this I damn well better get a surprise at the end, AND a rye & pepsi – what I would do for a rye & pepsi!!!!

Speaking of the end, The Alien has a sick sense of humor (probably mine)- my original due date was Jan 1st. It’s like it’s going “hey, you know how much fun you used to have on New Years, remember how much fun Mexico was? Haha screw you!” Not cool Alien.

However, The Alien is measuring a little further along than scheduled which is impossible in my books, and when my OB told us this T stated “I better have not been on the road”. Good thing the OB has a sense of humor. I signed up with her for the end of it as wit is something I’m going to need a whole lot of. Anyway, as of last appointment The Alien is now scheduled to land Dec 27th, and this will probably change again next week.

I could go into all the fun details of the instrument they use to determine all of these lovely dates, but I’d hate to put the fear into those of you who wish to have children in the future.

So that’s it, that’s kind of why I’ve been MIA. However, I’m still the same J9 with a little less filter.

1 comment:

  1. I thought this MIGHT have been what you referenced the other day in your comment. Congrats though! That's very, very exciting. :)

    I like the alien nickname, and might have snorted coffee nearly out my nose at the MIB reference. Also, I will drink as much rye for you as I can while you're preggo.

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