#99 Give Yourself A Make Under

Let me first tell you this was forced. I’ve been MIA for a while and it’s because I haven’t been conscious enough to write or even look at a screen for longer than 5 minutes without having to take a nap. Last Thursday my wisdom teeth were removed and that is when the make under began.

More days than not, I will not leave the house without hair and make-up done. I will be wearing the appropriate outfit for the weather with matching shoes, and the appropriate accessory whether it is an umbrella, purse, or sunglasses. My toenails are always polished (even in winter), finger nails are always manicured and earrings are always worn. Well not Thursday.

The instructions from the surgeon read:

1. No make up

2. No nail polish

3. No jewelry

4. Wear only loose wide neck tops

There I went looking pale, sickly, nervous, and absolutely not wanting to be there. When I came to afterwards I looked like this:

Not.Even.Kidding
I don’t recall consciousness Thursday at all.

Friday I made it as far as the couch and fell into the routine of wake up, experience pain, take drugs, sleep, and repeat. Thoughts of showering or changing clothes didn’t cross my mind. My father had come to take care of me and accidentally let Banditt outside. Not very stable on my feet I attempted to venture out to try and find Banditt where my neighbor didn’t even recognize me. I looked that scary.

Saturday comes along and everyone was hoping I’d be better by now. A birthday party on the beach is planned as well as some shopping, and am I well enough to do either? Nope. I can’t even summon the energy to shave the 3 days hair growth off my legs.

Sunday the pain has gotten worse. Instead of trying to ease myself off the Tylenol 3’s so that I can work Monday I find myself doubling the dosage - my face still isn’t shrinking back to normal size. Monday is payroll day – I can’t miss a Monday!. Luckily with the new web based software I determine that payroll can be done from my living room. I summon the strength to sit in the shower – the first shower in 4 days! That is insane.

Monday arrives and my attempt to scale back the drugs overnight so that I can concentrate on payroll has only caused me horrific pain. There I sit in my living room in the same lululemon pants and sports bra I put on days before with the same shirt/sweater beside me in case I get cold or a guest visits. No makeup, hair in a ponytail and yes as ill as I am the underwear is still changed daily. I am pissed at this point, pissed that I'm not healing - I want normalcy. I call the nurse at the surgeon's office and ask what the delay is with my recovering and her response and I quote is "I'm not by any means saying 29 is old, but age is a factor here." ARE YOU KIDDING? I nearly strangled her through the phone. So because I'm not a spring chicken I have to deal with extended pain?!?

I now haven’t thought about clothing or put on makeup or did my hair in 4 days, and it’s been kind of nice. There has been no laundry (not that I’m in any shape to do it), there has been no time spent on finding the right eye shadow or the right pair of shoes. I’m sure my legs are the hairiest they have ever been and I don’t give a damn (T is gone on business for 2 weeks). I have fallen out of the social circle due to all my time napping and the fact that it hurts to talk so conversations are short.

I feel like I have fallen off the planet and with the exception of the pain and the evil nurse it has been wonderful. No need to be anywhere or have anything done (except payroll). Not only has been getting my wisdom teeth removed good for my oral hygiene, but it’s been relaxation therapy as well. I think everyone should participate in a make-under, it relieves stress, re-energizes your body, allows you to catch up on sleep, and allows you to clear your head. I just don't advise on getting your wisdom teeth out - unless of course you are young and can rebound quickly.