#63. Be a nudist for a day (or a week sporadically)

I have the solution to ending the energy crisis. No more black outs or brown outs or smart meters. I’m currently putting together a promotional brochure advising everyone to go nude. If you think your house is warm, take off your clothes - it’s not. Do you have a basement? It’s basically Antarctica down there. Think turning on a fan is a good idea? Sure if you want every hair on your body to stand at attention! Also, unless you’ve got great window treatments – turning on the lights is not a good idea.

With my sister away last week on vacation (she lives with us), I discovered that I spent more time nude in my house than usual. You see – why put on clothes to run downstairs in the morning to put on coffee? and while you’re down there you end up feeding the cat, and then turning over the laundry, and maybe surfing the net? One thing leads to another and then you’re standing in your dining room picking out wine and you discover that the neighbours just got to know you really, really well.

T would love to come home every night, walk into the house, drop his pants at the front door, and wander around in his undies for the rest of the evening. This drives me crazy. I used to find his pants randomly all over the house, or a collection at the front door. However, he clued into the nakedness last week and did something far worse. Arriving at home late one night after playing ball hockey in insane heat he proceeded to remove his sweat drenched clothing in my living room and park his bare sweaty ass on my couch. Now luckily, I have wonderful furniture where the slip covers can be removed and put through the ‘sanitize’ cycle because febreeze was not going to cure that. Hence the new rule in our house – no nudity after sweating prior to having a shower.

There is a nude beach within an hour’s driving distance, and I thought I might get ballsy and attempt it. I figured out driving directions, found chats where I discovered I should strip at a stump before entering the beach area and that it is family friendly. I asked T if he’d go with me. NO. I didn’t want to go alone, and well I didn’t want to go with anyone else either. So, no nude beach for me.

I discovered a few things – sleeping, watching TV, internet surfing, and reading are all easily done nude. Getting the paper off the front step, answering the door when a neighbour stops by, and cooking anything in a frying pan are all very difficult. There was a lot of blanket wrapping. Also, don’t even attempt to iron – I’ve got a rather nice burn mark in an awkward place on my arm, which constantly rubs against clothing reminding me of my stupidity.

Going nude will reduce your cooling costs, save on laundry and clothing costs, and give you a sort of ‘free’ feeling. However, living with T, if I had heard “but you’re already naked” one more time, I probably could have pleaded temporary insanity and gotten away with it!