Get a Manicure/Pedicure

So the word has gotten out. People who read this have finally stopped attempting any kind of awkward hug or touch with me. AWESOME. I actually got high-fived good-bye from my aunt which in my world is absolutely amazing.

I mean what is the point of physical touch with someone you’re not close with anyway? I get that a handshake is a friendly gesture – but really where has that hand been? People’s hands are weird. Sometimes they are hot and clammy which just makes you want to wash your hands immediately after, and sometimes they are cold and you wonder what they’ve just been up to. I would prefer to not take the risk of catching a flu bug, or pre-judge you by the temperature of your hand, and maybe just give you a friendly smile, or fist bump – if I like you.

Then there is hugging. I understand that if someone is sad a hug may be of some comfort and therefore I against my better judgement will partake in this – but only if forced. Most of the time it’s uncomfortable trying to figure out the strength of the squeeze or just how long you should hold the hug for. If I had my way a pat on the back or a hand on the shoulder would suffice for everyone. On radio programs in the morning you often hear of people giving out ‘free hugs’ downtown to make people’s day better – how does getting a hug from a complete stranger make anyone feel better?

Last week I was approaching a mall when an older man was approaching carrying a large box. His foot caught on the curb and he did a face plant directly in front of me in oncoming traffic. What do I do? I run to help him of course, but I couldn’t touch him. He had climbed to his knees and had the wind knocked out of him, but I didn’t know how he’d feel with a strangers hand on his shoulder or arm. So I just leaned in and spoke with him to make sure he was ok, retrieved his box, and helped him to his car. Was this the right thing to do?

Anyway I crossed the get a manicure/pedicure off my list, and let me tell you I love the results, but I hate the process. The manicure was not horribly awful except for being in such close quarters basically holding the hand of someone you do not know. I got a French manicure on my own nails and it looked lovely – except that the results only lasted maybe 2 days and I was constantly worried about the polish chipping – but what can you expect for $7.

Next onto the pedicure – ready to be grossed out? Remember that little run I did back in April? Well, this is what my running shoes did to my toenails:

Do you think I need new running shoes? The cosmetologist took off my existing nail polish and asked “you drop something on your feet?” I apologized, explained the situation and then went through the most agonizing 20 minutes of my feet being touched/scrubbed/massaged/clipped and then the toenails repainted, and now they look like this:

I don’t think I’ll pay $30 and put myself through this torture again, when I’m pretty sure with a hot bath and a $7 bottle of nail polish I can accomplish the same results.