I opened my underwear drawer last night to discover I have 44 pairs of underwear. I could not do laundry and still have clean underwear for a month and a half! Of course there is themed underwear for Christmas (thong that has a bell that is not work appropriate), football Sunday underwear that has cute blue and pink footballs on them, and every other kind in between. Of course there are my favourites that are at the top and underwear that I say will never be worn again – but yet are still there known as the ‘granny panties’. The elastic is gone in them and they are not at all sexy, but they maintain drawer space for who knows what reason? So last night they were tossed. Screw granny panties, I’ll wear them in 40 years (yes that would make me 69) when I should technically be a granny.
I just remembered a story about the football panties I think I should share so that you can all share in my embarrassing moments with me. I had just started a new job and after my first day discovered that people here dress up all fancy every day – I’m talking skirts, heels, earrings, etc. Coming from automotive where jeans & a hoody would suffice I told T I needed to ‘girl it up’. So out I pull a skirt that I hadn’t worn in say 5 years that I would consider dressy and I put together an outfit for the next morning. At this point I was working two jobs – 6am-8am still in automotive, and 8:30-5 at the new job, so I was getting up and dressed in the dark, and this was my first week. I get up, dressed, go to my first job; get to my second job where I feel a bit of a breeze. I head to the bathroom to discover that the slit of the skirt is putting my football Sunday underwear (worn for comfort that day) on display for everyone to see. I rush home on my lunch and sew the slit to avoid any further embarrassments and back to work I go. End of the day I rush home to get changed to go for a walk with a friend and as I’m telling her this story while changing I discover I hadn’t put a bra on that day either. The ENTIRE day, and I’m not talking about size B here, I’m a D – I still can’t figure out how this all happened, but I’m pretty sure the entire office probably thought I was a hoe – excellent first week impression.
As for investing in frivolous undies, you can’t get more frivolous then what I already own – unless you go maybe a zebra or leopard print or something, but in most cases the less fabric to get all up in your business the better. So what I’ve decided to do is become matchy-matchy with bras & panties. I have a few sets but coordinating them for the same day never happens, so I’m going to make sure I have enough sets so that it can. I’ve just bought 2 sets for a total of 4 that I have, but ideally I’d like at least 7 – so more shopping! Who is going to see & appreciate this? Probably only me, but I’ll feel great and if I’m ever hit by a bus I won’t be embarrassed by my undies
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