Thursday, March 31, 2011

#52. Confront someone who’s done you wrong

This one is going to be tricky as I can’t really reveal much about how this person did me wrong, but I can tell you the situation that went down last week.

I have this great friend who I email/talk to almost daily and often see each other every other weekend or so. She had given me a piece of information regarding something that could have changed part of my life and I accepted it. Then in the history of an email that hadn’t been erased to another person I read that what she told me was not in fact true.

My first reaction was hurt – why would she lie?

Followed by anger – I thought we were better friends?

Then I decided I would sleep on it to clear my head, instead of a reaction that could go completely horrible. Emails/phone calls/texts became unanswered and she started worrying - even contacting T.

Many times I composed an email, read it to T, and then didn’t send. I was questioning how important the friendship is and how to approach it without placing blame and causing a rift? What I really wanted to do is say “hey, maybe you should cut and paste certain emails and leave out the history”, but I didn’t.

I turned to T and other friends asking how I should handle it and all answers were to proceed with caution, but be honest.

So I did.

I replied to the original email first thing the next morning stating I had read the email history, didn’t know if I should be hurt or angry so had decided to give it time and wondered why I hadn’t been told what actually was going on.

I hit send and held my breath. Seriously, I love this girl; she is so much fun and makes the days at work go by quicker. We love the same shows, our husbands are two of the same, and I wasn’t sure what I’d do without her?

There was a perfectly good explanation. I read the history correctly, but there was a different angle to the information, one that hadn’t been discussed. She felt horrible, and apologized, and I’m extremely happy a confrontational over reaction didn’t occur, because life with her in it is just so much more fun.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

#54. Write a body manifesto.

Swim Naked, Defy Gravity and 99 Other Essential Things to Accomplish Before Turning 30
According to the book, I am to come up with a list of all the things I like about my body so that on those days where you are miserable and absolutely nothing you own looks even remotely good on you and you just want to crawl back under the covers and hibernate that you read it and feel ok about yourself.

Yeah. Right.

No list is going to make me change my mind when my pants are too snug, or my hair won’t straighten, or I can’t draw a straight line with my eyeliner to save my life. It’s on those days where I walk out of the house barley put together feeling horrible that T pipes up and tells me I’m beautiful and justifies his purpose in the morning.

So yeah, I guess sometimes I like my hair, but definitely not all the time. I like my freckles as they remind me of my youth that I’m still clutching onto for dear life, and I like the fact that my eyesight has never failed me and I’ve required glasses like my father/mother/sister.

So let me tell you about some weird things… which I guess I definitely find cool.

1. I’ve never had a nose bleed. EVER.

2. I am double jointed in my fingers

3. I can make my eyes twitch (babysitters paraded me around like a circus act)

4. The top of my mouth is not flat- it formed a rather large bump in the middle

5. I have a blue dot on my butt – no idea how or where it came from but it never goes away

6. My sister and I have identical freckles on our hands

7. My skin has two colors – white and red. No such thing as a tan.

8. My jaw is too small for my teeth – you name it, it’s been pulled out. Twice.

9. I still have my appendix and my tonsils

10. I broke my baby finger, didn’t go to a doctor, it didn’t heal properly and now doesn’t function 100%

So there you have it, the list of things I could write disliking my body would double or triple this list, but these are the things that make me unique. If I were to look at this list on a bad day when nothing is going right it wouldn’t make me feel better, just maybe more like a freak of nature.

Can anyone else top these? I have an overwhelming feeling to feel normal again!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

#98. Learn not to be a flake.

What is a flake? According to the Urban Dictionary it is:


An unreliable person; someone who agrees to do something, but never follows through. Examples:


1. John called in sick to work again today. He's such a flake.


2. Mary said she would do the research for our project, but it's been a week and she hasn't done a thing. She's such a flake.

There is something within in me that will not allow flakiness (inherited trait from my father). I believe it is a complete and total annoyance with the waste of any time. Time is precious and for me mostly scheduled so having to either wait or completely reorganize or reschedule something due to someone’s flakiness would just plain piss me off.

Unreliability is not excusable and often people with ‘flake’ reputations in my book are written off if they are repeat offenders. Once or twice fine. 3 times = write off.

I believe in staying ahead of the ball, being 100% efficient. Why waste time? Why put time and effort into planning something to be left hanging at the last minute to attempt to make alternate plans? And having to have a backup for unreliable plans means that you shouldn’t have made the plans in the first place!

As you can probably tell I am not a delegator and I have some control issues. I like things to be done properly the first time and on time -hence why anything with a deadline at work is not given to anyone else to complete. Also hence my love for Microsoft OneNote. Say you are working on a project with someone and they tend to not be reliable – create a Notebook and keep all the files in one place accessible to both/all parties. So much easier than having to attempt to contact the individual to ask for a file to be sent, or just plain waiting it out. The added bonus is that if any changes have been made to anything since the last time you logged in it will show you – so you don’t miss a thing. The downside is the lack of awareness and price of this wonderful product. Think communication aspects of Google Wave, but better.

So while my tolerance for flakes will never change, my coping with them mechanisms will continue to technically advance!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

#89. Tell someone your deepest darkest secret & #16. Make the first move

Often in my line of work (human resources) secrets are a daily occurrence. Not so much secrets just knowledge that can’t be spoken about publicly. I often know when someone resigns before others, or who is going off on mat leave (not easy to physically tell with employees across Canada) or who is about to be fired or what’s going to happen with a re-org etc. I just sit back and wait for someone to hint at knowing or come right out and think they are telling me something I don’t already know. Then it’s kind of a relief that it’s known and discussions on the effects of whatever is going on can be discussed.


So my secret is an un-healthy, completely insane, premature, non-justifiable, money sucking addiction. But oh how I love it so much. It kills time, provides suspense, keeps me on my toes, and I absolutely had to tell someone before I went crazy. So I told them hoping that they would tell me I was crazy and that I should stop and instead they edge me on!!! They feed me information and when I tell them to tell me no they tell me yes – such a bad influence! Who is ‘them’ or ‘they’? I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you and that wouldn’t be an overly easy task for me as I know not who most of you are!

And on the subject of secrets I’ll include #16. Make the first move.

I have just made the first move of a life change. For which I will soon be able to share, but that I am unaware of the outcome at this point. So as to not jinx myself I am sharing that I made a major decision and made a move towards it. I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time and am somewhat open about it so it won’t come as a shocker. You probably want to reach through your computer and strangle me at this point? I will tell you soon enough!

But right now let’s just be concerned that there are only 65 days left until I turn 30! I catch myself being all ‘oh isn’t spring lovely?’ and ‘look at the green sprouts coming up’ and then I get a clue and realize that spring = birthday, and then I take deep breathes. And on days like today where we get a dumping of snow and freezing rain I feel like winter is on my side.

Here is what I woke up to this morning:

Monday, March 21, 2011

Happy SPRING!

This has been the happiest start to spring EVER. So I'll share with you my annual ritual of listening to a favorite song of mine from the 'grunge' era from a local band The Gandharvas


Crank it up and Enjoy... lose your voice singing it at the top of your lungs like I did on my commute this morning.

Happy Spring :)

Friday, March 18, 2011

#70. Use a great dermo

I used to have a great dermo say 15 years ago – geez I’m getting up there. Geez, I said geez.

That great dermo put me on Accutane – the highly controversial prescribed acne medication taken orally. I’m thinking if what has come out about the product now was known then my parents would not have agreed to put me on it. All I remember being told is ‘Absolutely no drinking, you will destroy your liver, and absolutely no getting pregnant – your baby will be deformed’.

This drug should only be used if all other methods have failed. The list of side effects go on forever - Extreme severe acne flare, dryness of skin, lips and mucous membranes, infection of the cuticles, cheilitis, itch, rosacea, skin fragility, skin peeling, rash, flushing, nose bleeds, dry eyes, diffuse alopecia areata, eye irritation, conjunctivitis, reduced tolerance to contact lenses, hyperlipidaemia, raised liver enzymes, permanent thin skin, headaches, temporary/permanent hair thinning (this could start or continue after treatment), myalgia and/or arthralgia, back pain. ((wiki) read up, it'll scare the pants off you)


And that’s just while you are on it, here’s what is possible afterwards:

Alopecia (hair loss), arthralgias, decreased night vision, inflammatory bowel disease, degenerative disc disease, keloids, bone disease, dry eyes, dry skin, stunted growth (in teens), birth defects, depression, Crohn’s disease, and drug interactions.

I do recall being very dry while on the medication, but 15 years later I can’t see very well driving in the dark when it’s raining, and my hair did thin out a bit last year – but I’m thinking that’s an age issue, not a 15 years later after effect?

You wonder if it’s worth it? Well as a teen I’d say yes – your body can pretty much take a beating and still have plenty of time to recover. Would I suggest going on it later in life? Probably not. It wasn't the be-all end-all to acne; it just made it easier to control with over the counter products.

So instead of Accutane I suggest something with a large dose of benzoyl peroxide, exfoliating once per week, and moisturizing – especially in the winter.

So I have no need to visit a dermo as they’ve done all they can do, with the exception of removing a cyst from my neck that is considered ‘cosmetic’ which means I pay for it, and involves slicing my neck open – nothankyouverymuch.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

#57. Memorize your ring size

It’s 7 ½. I’ve never actually needed to know this, I actually had to go into a jewellery store and have them check my rings. The book states that you should know this in case you ever need to drop it in conversation with a potential suitor – I never did.

T proposed without a ring, and you know before the proposal if you would have asked me if I wanted the whole get down on one knee with a ring experience I would have said yes, but T made the proposal unique and it couldn’t have been better.

Ok… I’ll tell you.

T surprised me with a trip to New York for our second year of dating anniversary. Before we left he told me not to get my hopes up as he wasn’t proposing that weekend, it was just a trip away. I was of course sad, but excited just to get away.

We got to New York and he had planned eating at America's first pizza place Lombardi's (GO THERE, it’s amazing and has great character) in little Italy, shopping in Tribeca, a New York Rangers vs New York Islanders game on Long Island, and the sex and the city tour. (gotta do it once if you’re a fan). On the last full day in New York we decided to walk around Central Park which was absolutely amazing and is definitely one of my favourite places in the world. We walked all day only sitting for lunch in the boat house and my feet were killing me. I just wanted to go back to the hotel and put my feet up but T had other plans.

We headed over to Top of the Rock for sunset, waited in line for what seemed like forever to take the elevator to the top and once I got there it was breath taking. However with the sore feet situation I found a bench and happily placed my butt on it. T kept trying to get me to get up and see the view from different angles but the thought of other tourists taking my bench kept me planted on it. Finally when T realized my tush was not moving he came and sat down beside me and proposed while sitting on the bench! Not one knee, and no ring, but amazing. When I clued in to the fact that there was no ring he must have seen the look in my eyes as he stated that we were going to Tiffany’s in the morning! He then told me I could go to any restaurant in NY for dinner – you know what I chose? TGI Fridays! It was nearby and I was hungry.

Well of course I didn’t sleep that night….

We got up in the morning and arrived at Tiffany’s for when they opened. Of course we had already been there prior to this as I had pulled T in to look around when we first got to NY. I attempted to look nice, T was wearing a hoodie and jeans and looked completely out of place when they handed us champagne. We took the elevator to the second floor and approached the engagement rings desk. The sales woman stated “the rings start at two thousand dollars and go up to one million dollars” while she’s doing a gliding arm gesture over the display case. T being the comedian he is replies with “I think we’ll start at one million and work our way backwards!”

I picked out my ring in 6 minutes. I thought T was going to crap himself. I clearly remember him asking me a million times “are you sure?” as it was the most money he’s ever spent in the shortest amount of time. Of course then it had to be sized and with a flight to catch later that afternoon they put a rush on it and we went and killed two hours in central park zoo.

Back on the subway to the hotel T makes me hide my ring as he’d become paranoid we’d be jumped. So you know what I did while he was in this heightened state of paranoia? I said yes to the first lady on Canal Street who asked ‘you want to buy bag’ and followed her two blocks, through and alley, up two flights of stairs into a room behind a curtain. There I found every kind of knock off purse you could imagine. T stood completely still, was white as a ghost, and attempted not to crap himself.

So there’s the story. Oh and we didn’t declare the ring when returning to Canada, which made T break out in the sweats.

All in all, best proposal ever!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

#81. Fly first class

Oh how I’ve tried on this one!! ‘T let’s go to New York for a few days?’ No. ‘T lets fly out to Vancouver to visit your sister?’ No. I always try, it never works. However, he has stated that I am allowed to do whatever I want on my birthday so flying first class could be possible, however the goal of having all 101 things done before my birthday would render useless.


So let me tell you about the time I did fly first class – for free!

T & I were going on a Caribbean cruise and were flying Northwest (no longer exist) out of Detroit. T was an elite member with Northwest as he flew with them for work a lot so when we first checked in he asked the attendant if the flight was full and she stated it was overbooked. Off we went to the waiting area where T approached the gate attendant and told her it was our honeymoon and that if there was a chance of first class that we would happily take it. A few moments later she approached and asked me if I was traveling with T, when I replied ‘yes’ she handed us two first class tickets!!



(sorry so blurry, hands were shaking). I also found a pic T took of me with not one, but two drinks at the same time, but it's too horrific to show you :)

Not even a minute later they call first class boarding. We enter the plane, find our spacious seats, and the flight attendant offers us drinks and serves them before anyone else boards! I ask for a rye and coke and she appears with a small glass, pours an entire mini bottle of rye into the glass and then adds the tiniest bit of coke. For that being the first drink it was way too strong. While sipping my drink the rest of the plane boarded rather quickly and she came back and said “Ma’am, I require you to finish your drink before take-off”. So I slammed it back, and for the first time ever wasn’t nervous about the take-off.

I could no longer focus to read my magazine or book, so when the stewardess came around shortly after take-off I ordered another one. My fear of peeing in airplanes was supposedly gone too! I put on earphones and rocked out by myself wishing I had brought some kind of video game or something to do as there are very few people to people-watch in first class. However, I did notice that the others were sipping tiny glasses of red wine, or just having water, and then there was me - more than ½ in the bag.

T switches me seats so that I can look out the window and we arrive in Miami in what felt like maybe 25 minutes. I don’t remember much of the landing, or getting off the plane, or baggage check. The only thing I recall is having a Jamaican taxi driver take us to this gorgeous hotel while I rolled down the window – not because I wanted to feel the warm air, but because I required fresh air.

So that is why T probably won’t let me back in first class….

Also a note of interest while sitting in the hotel room window first thing in the morning I witnessed a helicopter land and Rihanna get out of it – this was one week prior to the whole Chris Brown incident, she was in Miami for a Super bowl appearance.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

#96. Own & Write Off my ‘What if’s’

I’ve made a list of my ‘what if’s’ and they mostly revolve around boys and this ticks me off. As I’m currently reading my diaries for a future post and it’s mostly about boys too. And I hate to sound all cliché but if I knew then what I know now……


Let’s start off by telling you that in my head I have probably made my relationship with my high school boyfriend out to be a hell of a lot better than it actually was. Also, put in the fact that we were young, had a lot of extra time on our hands, and no major responsibilities. It was a relationship that I made all others stand up to and most of them failed miserably, but again, over time and life experiences I’m probably viewing it through rose coloured glasses?

He left for university two years before I could with the plan to complete university and move to Toronto. I figured I would fast track through high school and go to university in Toronto and our paths would cross again once more. I fast tracked through high school, applied and was accepted to a university in Toronto, and then chose a university not in Toronto – that’s probably a sign I gave up on a future with him.

But what if I had gone?

I did end up in Toronto following a boy (who I shouldn’t have) in the same time frame high school boyfriend arrived in the city. We never had any contact, nor tried. However, the current boyfriend was still being compared and not holding up. I received a phone call stating high school boyfriend was engaged....

My heart hit the floor. One prime time long distance phone call (when I was flat broke) was made to my best friend to have her confirm I was alright. Why wouldn’t I be? I mean we hadn’t talked in years at that point, but any dream of what could have been went right out the window. Then I started finding all kinds of things wrong with the current boyfriend and we split, and I up and moved two hours away.

What if I stayed?

Flat broke, unemployed, and heartbroken I refused to fly the white flag and move home and in with my parents again. So I rented an apartment I could barely afford, took the first job I could get in retail, and attempted to find love again. At one point in-between jobs I had gone home to eat their food. Honestly, I was tired of cereal, rice, mac and cheese, and the thought of a free abundance of food and meals made for me every day was enough to get me home. If I didn’t have to pay for food it made paying the rent easier. A friend of mine was leaving for Europe and was having a going away dinner at a restaurant that I couldn’t afford the gas to drive the two hours back to the city, or the food at the restaurant, but I decided to go anyway. That’s where I ran into T.

What if I hadn’t gone?

I’m feeling like this entire entry should be given the Clash’s ‘Should I stay or should I go’ theme song.

The thing is, I drive home every day and pull into my driveway and think to myself that this is exactly where I should be. When I was completely down on my luck, had given up on love, and didn’t have a hope in hell of being where I am today T took me as I was. I didn’t have to be anyone other than myself, I from day one trusted him with anything, and his calm and humorous personality balance me out.

Could I have been happy forever in the relationship with high school boyfriend? Probably not. Something about sewing your oats probably would have caused itchy feet to discover what else was out there. Should I have stayed in Toronto? Definitely not, it would have created a whole new state of broke that I’d probably still be paying off. Should I have not gone to the dinner and spent money on gas and dinner to get there? Hell no! But even if you’re broke, you still gotta treat yourself once in a while; I had great food, wonderful conversations with friends, and got a husband out of it! Money well spent.